Lazy Post of the Day. The 'Sister'hood.

I buy a lot of music. As much as my Razor plan from last year insisted that I CUT THAT HABIT off as fast as a limb with gangrene, I just couldn't ever part with it. Impulse buys often lead to lots of music that I seldom listen to but occasionally I will stumble on a group that really sticks out. To me that happened with "Scissor Sisters" a few years ago when I was snooping around on iTunes. I read about how they were a huge hit in the U.K. and with a little click of the mouse found that their album was online before it was in the stores. From the minute I purchased it until today it still ranks as one of my favorites in my collection. One of those rare CD's that you can listen to all the way through without hesitation.

I frantically tried to push this band on all of my friends and while some of them took to it, the majority acted like the rest of the U.S., with sluggish disapproval. It's been a few years since their debut came out and they are back with their new single "I Don't Feel Like Dancing." Upon first listen I wasn't as hooked as I had hoped but now I can't seem to stop playing it. The "Scissor Sisters" are gay in every sense of the word. They are lighthearted and carefree, just making you want to dance and in the other sense have about three gay members which is always nice to see in a successful band. Regardless of orientation though, they just make good FUN music.

I won't pretend to know what they are doing in this new video, or what drugs they were on while making it for that matter, but just sit back, watch, listen and enjoy. Then go buy the album! It can take you from being in a horrible mood like I was fifteen minutes ago, to being happy, just like that. If that's not an endorsement then I don't know what is.
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3:30.

I remember the choreographer Peter Quanz saying something very strange to me around this time last year. He was working on creating the piece “Kaleidoscope” for ABT and mentioned that he had been keeping himself up all night working on it. Apparently he was fighting with pennies late at night in his apartment working on formations for the corps. When he first told me that, it sounded completely ridiculous but now I absolutely understand his frustration.

My lesson of the summer has been that creation is an all-consuming entity. The only explorations I had done with creation before were Star Wars ballets in my basement as a child, and the occasional work on some writing; miniscule to say the least. As an adult I began to realize that there is no rule or form to letting creation out of you. Awaking at 3:30 in the morning and grabbing my camcorder to film the movement that had popped into my head, I began to realize the power that Peter had no control over. I would work in the studio all day long and get a few sections out only to get frustrated that it wasn’t pouring out of me. Then I would all of a sudden feel it surge through me and realize that I can’t force it. Some of my favorite stuff that I did for “Snow” was stuff that I didn’t start in the studio.

Another important lesson that I learned was the idea of giving myself parameters. I struggled with the idea of doing Snow scene because I thought that there was nothing “original” I could bring to it. The word “original” is a creators’ worst enemy, the devil looming over your shoulder as you purge out the work. Getting over that fear of originality was only aided by the fact that I was choreographing “Snow”. I had a rough sketch provided by the borders that “Nutcracker” establishes, therefore structuring my work in some way. Any other time I have played around with choreography in the studio I have always said that I didn’t want to make it a story, I just wanted to play around with movement. However, there must be structure within abstraction. When you look at an abstract painting, it isn’t any less planned than a detailed Seurat; it’s just a different type of structure.

Since I have started choreographing this summer I find that I just want to do more and more. It’s a hunger that has to be fed but finding the right nutrients is so difficult. I listen to music all the time and am stimulated by so much of it, but only a handful of things really make me want to get into the studio. How do I find that great piece of music that will pull something out of me? At this point I don’t even really care how good it is, I just want to be doing it.

On my hellish plane ride home I had the chance to listen to the new Thom Yorke (front man of Radiohead)’s album. It is another clear example of something that sounds very random in it’s composition but is every bit as structured Tchaikovsky. One song in particular stood out to me as a possible duet for my friend Blaine and I. You can listen to it, “The Clock”, down below. I guess I’ll just have to see if it starts waking me up at night, then maybe I’ll know it’s the right choice.

Concepts?

I just downloaded the new Justin Timberlake (illegal I know, but I couldn't resist) and on first listen I am very into it. Impressed with the beats and overall sound of the record, good dance tunes that are great to work out to it is just FUN. However, when I was lifting weights at the gym today I was struck by (drumroll please) how dismal even the best of pop music is right now. I say that as if it comes as some sort of surprise but when someone who grew up today starts saying "they just don't make them like they used to," there is a problem.

No one should take this as me saying that I don't like his album because I really am a sucker for catchy pop. However, when you have people like Sufjan Stevens, Feist, and Regina Spektor out there singing about ACTUAL emotions in an educated way, how has this type of pop music become so huge?! Of course, its universal with its simple lyrics, catchy beats and glossy videos but is Justin's "Future Sex/ Love Sounds" the closest thing we have to a mainstream "concept" album? "Gee Justin, what were you trying to accomplish with this CD?" "Well I just wanted to make it about....sex and stuff." I hate how hypocritical I am being, demeaning the success of these artists yet eagerly downloading their CD before the actual release. I've been brainwashed I tell you! I can tell the difference but cannot resist its calling!

Sufjan does concept albums with his 50 State Project, The Who did it with "Tommy" and many others have accomplished it. In modern times though, the closest mainstream success there is would be Green Day's "American Idiot." While a great album, even that in my opinion it isn't a true "concept" album. The more I listen to the Justin CD I am struck and confused by how EVERY SINGLE SONG is about, a. an attempt to have sex, b. an attempt to woo a girl or c. a combo of both. It gets BORING! In the times that we live in with so much happening around us politically, will no mainstream singer take a risk and have a voice throughout it? Unfortunately I think that the answer is a resounding NO. The only group I can think of is the Dixie Chicks and look at how they have been shut out due to their voice. Ugh, I don't feel like I am able to get my thoughts out in an articulate manner today....oh well.

Of course there is a place for club pop but would it hurt these artists to create some art for maybe just ONE track on their CD? Or even just sing about something other than sex, love, sex, love....

Have a listen for yourself to one of the songs, "My Love."

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"Well, I GOT IT!"

I had mentioned in my last blog how I needed to get to the gym the second I got back to the city. While I was able to accomplish that, but I have now gotten the most intense work out I could imagine. For the past 24 hours I have had the flu and have been on a strict diet of jello, coke, applesauce, puke, repeat. My abs feel fabulous!!!

On a more serious note, I felt that I was somewhat obligated to blog a little bit tonight since I have been sitting around my apartment doing nothing but watch TV for the past 24 hours. So for now I am going to demand that everyone keep their fingers crossed for Valerie Cherish (aka Lisa Kudrow) to win the Emmy tonight. I doubt it will ever happen but if it does I will muster up the energy in my flu ridden state to jump up and scream. Another special shout out needs to go to "Arrested Development" for continuously being the funniest show I have ever watched. Of course, both of these brilliant shows were cancelled but that's the crappy state of entertainment that we live in.

With the arrival of the Emmys and the fact that it has been dusk like all day here (the world knew I was going to get sick so that really helped me sleep) we are officially being ushered into Fall. It's a strange feeling slowly winding down from summer and looking back on the past year. Even though I don't have a typical "school year" calendar anymore I base the end of my year on the beginning of another work period. I always create a set of goals for myself each year and I rarely accomplish any of them. This year I have actually crossed one of my list, the creation of a piece of choreography!!! I have only been saying I was going to do that for about 3 years now and now once I have started I keep wanting to do more. So what are my "New Fall Resolutions" going to be this year?

1. Watch Valerie Cherish Win
2. Does anything else matter right now!?
3. Asking the forgiveness of the readers for indulging in my flu induced stupor blog. I promise I will have SOMETHING more exciting to say soon. After these drugs wear off!

Surprises.

It's amazing how some people from your past show up and surprise you. I was out for my last night in Montana tonight and had one of the best times I have had here in a long time. I met up with some friends of mine from middle school that I hadn't seen since 8th grade graduation. I realized that I had nothing to fear when it comes to my sexuality and my friends.

Ever since I have been a child and moved away to NCSA I have always been conscious of the way that people that I grew up with think of me. Sometimes there is this heightened sense of fear when it comes to the way that they will react to the fact that I am gay. Most of that stems from being in Montana but part of it is within me all the time. Tonight I hung out with a few great guys from my childhood and realized that I have nothing to fear. At a certain point people realize that humans are humans and we are all the same. At least you can hope that they do. In Montana I always expect the worst but when I am surprised it means so much more. I have a huge smile on my face as I sit here and realize that friendships that I made when I was younger ARE important and every person that I knew makes an impact on my life. I just want to thank these guys for surprising me.....there is nothing better.

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Clawing My Way Home.

I have decided that Minneapolis is the devil. I apologize to anyone that lives here but it has not been a very kind place to me this summer. Of course in a summer full of incredible memories I guess I deserve a few bad ones to spice it up even more. I am stuck for the second time in three weeks in a hotel by myself blogging before I get up to journey home in the morning. The one positive part of this second time being stranded in the Midwest is that there is a Denny's in the parking lot of this hotel instead of the barren wasteland that was my hotel three weeks ago.

Lacking any better ideas (the Mall of America, a bizarre comment on our culture, was closed) I trotted, yes trotted, my way over to Denny's to gorge myself on some yummy fried food. Having already eaten McDonalds in the airport I feel like a complete lard ass right now which further intensifies the idea that I MUST find a gym the moment I arrive back in NYC.

When I sat down at my empty booth and opened up the menu (which had a sticky texture like it had perhaps been covered in snot recently) I was greeted by the happy little sign that you see above. "Your Day Starts Here!" it exclaimed. Ah, the irony and the fear that it instilled in me was paralyzing. Was THIS really just the BEGINNING of my day?! I thought I was going to bed soon and that the worst was over. If only I had realized that, indeed, the best/worst was yet to come.

I think the mindset of the people in the Denny's can be summed up by the "Claw Machine" that lurked in the center of the restaurant inviting everyone to give it a go. As each party came in, they almost immediately ran over to it as if they had some power that would make these shoddy machines reward them. Let's just say it's grip was about as convincing as the year I pretended I was straight. Yet for some reason this seemed a surprise to everyone. Now I can understand the stoners that came in being confused by this magical machine that was just THIS close away from fulfilling their dreams, but everyone else?!

The one other person I will give credit to is the little boy who was escorted over by his older brother. A Kevin Federline type, this dynamic duo put in a whole dollar (a LOT of commitment to a claw machine) and everytime the results came back negative (something the real K. Fed has NO experience with) the child would run back to his mother crying. Way to work it little boy. I commend you.

My personal favorite though was the combo effect of stoner/K.Fed/employee. He waltzed over in his crisp Denny's uniform and inserted his money to not only be confused by the fact that he lost but also by the fact that his boss was pretty upset that he was playing while being payed. Apparently common sense doesn't exist in the pristine world of Denny's but who would have thought that so much flavor could exist in a chain restaurant?!

Upon exiting I asked the manager if it was okay that I left the money on the table. Without pause he gave me a twitching look that was possibly a consideration to gouge my eyes out with the claw machine (of course that would mean that all the fun would be taken away) but quickly nodded his approval. There was no way he was going to sacrifice the claw even if I had broken the rules. I can only pray that breakfast will be as interesting. Wish me luck!

Songs YOU need to download. 8/23/06

During my time home I have had a handful of songs that I have been trying to push on everyone. I am certified "music whore" and find myself continuously downloading anything new that might be remotely interesting, not a good idea. The majority of the time I end up getting stuff that I like one or two songs on and I might as well have fed the remaining money to my dog. Since music is so important to me though, I can't really stop exploring and these are my favorites at the moment.

"Goodbyes"-Kelis
So some of you may look at the name and think "oh shit, that annoying girl that sang "Milkshake?" To that I say....GET OVER IT. The rest of Kelis' last CD was incredible and while this new one isn't QUITE as good there are a couple of fun R&B Songs.

"Save Me From Myself"-Christina Aguilera

"On Our Way"-Christina Aguilera
The new CD is out and while some of it is good a lot of it is just so oversung! I get angry that she can't seem to understand what the word restraint means. When she doesn't sound like she is getting electrocuted (which can still be pretty fun sounding) it's just so much better. "Save Me From Myself" is a great song that demonstrates how much better she is when she takes a Xanax.

"14th Street"-Rufus Wainwright
As I sit here wearing my Rufus at Carnegie Hall shirt I thought it would be fitting if I included one of his songs. This is one of my favorites off of the "Want One" CD which still ranks as one of my all time favorite CD's.

"When I Was A Young Girl"-Feist
Love the bareness of the instrumentation on this track. Yet another incredible one from her album.

"Snow"-Nutcracker
Now as beautiful as the music is, I want everyone to download this and play it 800 times so they can understand how weird/annoying it gets to have to hear Nutcracker in August. As much as I love it and have been enjoying it while choreographing, I'm kind of at the end of dealing with it.

So that's all for now! It ended up being a little more pop oriented this time. Hope you enjoy some of them.
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Wonder Boy.

Michael and I have been pining away at this song for the past few days and here is the WORLD PREMIERE! After I finally got a chance to take a break from choreographing we jumped at the chance to sit down together. Unfortunately Michael is heading out of town tomorrow (and I have to get my ass back into the dance studio to record EVERY part of the 13 person snow scene I have made) so this is all we have of the song so far. We started working on it separately but got some good rewriting done together here in Missoula. It's always a different feeling collaborating with someone but I was so excited to be able to get into a practice room and throw around some ideas.

For me, I always feel like Michael's music is so far superior to my lyrics (I am in NO WAY fishing for compliments here, just being honest) so I always get excited by the way he pushes me to improve my own work. We did a little late night recording session in my house today. As you can see from the pictures (above doing his best Christina Aguilera impression) Michael headed into the "recording booth" aka the bathroom to blast out the vocals. I wrote the lyrics and am somewhat happy (I'm hardly EVER satisfied with things I create) with what we have so far. I am having a hard time with the section that comes after what we have recorded. I hope that people enjoy it! Even though a work in progress, it has been teaching me so much about working together as well as writing lyrics. I tend to be more general and metaphoric rather than specific like I would like to be, but we all have to start somewhere!

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Drumroll please.....

So here it is folks, the picture that you all must see. We took this in Virginia City the other morning and I would be lying if I didn't say that this was something we were really looking forward to the whole trip.

So let's take advantage of the fact that now EVERYONE can comment on posts and do a little "name that caption" game. Do your best caption for the above photo (backstory, dialogue, whatever.....) and let's see if we can get a thread going!

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You Better Step It Up.

"Step kick, step fan, step turn, ball change, contract."

That's a riveting excerpt of dialogue from the new dance movie currently playing in theaters, "Step Up." It might as well be called "Save the Fame Dance For Center Stage" as it seems to throw every dance movie into a blender, smash it up and then regurgitate it like a mama bird feeding the audience. Can no one write a decent dance movie script? I understand that teen movies are like the J.K. Rowling's of cinema (ooo...I might get killed for that one) but even Rowling can write a good storyline.

This movie is made to be a commentary on ballet vs. Hip-hop used as an allegory for social class systems but with such a cliched script and not nearly enough dancing (or as just about everyone I have talked to agrees, shirtless lead actor) it's just a little wah-wah. That's not to say there aren't enjoyable parts. I found myself laughing hysterically when the lead boy enters the arts high school to find not only teenagers at school, but teenagers running around in dance clothes, riffing down the halls, having violin jams by their lockers, carrying huge canvases, beat boxing and reading dramatic monologues. That's so realistic.....Bravo screenwriters.

It also really pushed the boundaries as far as dance attire goes. The lead girl mixes dance clothes and real clothes as if she got dressed while having a seizure in the dark. Then again that could have been the technique used for the writing and direction as well....at least they were consistent. Four Stars.

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Exciting Blog Discovery....

Hey everyone, just a little note to say that I have discovered that I can open up my blog to allow comments from ANYONE. Not just registered users anymore so comment away! Love to get feedback knowing what you like/dont like and what you want to see more of! Hope to hear from you soon!!!

ALSO....I am changing the URL of my blog so it will now be http://rantingdetails.blogspot.com I will continue to update both for a while but let people know about the new address!

Hey Old Friend. Cheesy (or one of many cheesy) post of the day!

The other day I was walking around the University when shabam! Just like a Jack in the Box there was one of my best friends from when I went to Hellgate (seriously folks) Middle School. During our time at school together we went from being best friends to being acquaintances as he turned to sports (I say that as if he turned into a crackhead) and slowly lost contact through the years. Then a couple of years back I heard that Dane was dancing and doing musical theater. What?! Damn people can surprise you sometimes. Nothing makes me happier than hearing that people find the joy (here comes Mr. Cheesy) of movement....but with past jocks in Missoula, Montana that is NOT something you hear very often.

We hung out for the first time in years the other night and he just seems so happy which in turn makes me so happy. So lets give a little cheers to finding your true passion and running into old friends that you ACTUALLY want to see! Certainly beats the odd Target run-in's with people whose names you barely remember.

Teacher/Student.

With the recent passing of Melissa Hayden, NCSA has been on my mind a lot lately. I am not a person that takes time to reflect as much as I should but when I heard the horrible news I was suddenly flooded with memories from my days growing up at school. I looked through many old pictures and wished that I could just feel the comfort that I was too busy to know I had during my three years there again. All I want is to be walking through the halls and looking into the faces of the students and teachers that I had grown so much with at such a pivotal point of my life.

I always considered myself to be as close as one could be to at least a few members of the faculty during my time there. Yet there still exists a sense of guarding oneself in the relationship between student and teacher. During the past few years I have had the opportunity to reconnect and at least visit for a few minutes with past teachers of mine. Once you aren’t a student of theirs anymore it’s as if suddenly you can be your complete self and share all of life, not just school activity. In the past week I have had that very experience and made a deeper connection than I ever thought was possible with a teacher of mine from NCSA named Fanchon Cordell.

Fanchon was nice enough to agree to come and teach at my old studio in Missoula, MT for a few days and was able to stay in town for about a week. I have always enjoyed having relationships with people that are not in my age group and find that for some reason I open myself up more to people that are older than me. During the week that Fanchon was here I had the chance to sit and just be a person with her and get to know the real person she is as well. It’s startling how similar our views on life and art are and she was kind enough to come and watch me choreograph and give me her words of inspiration. There is no feeling like having the support of people you look up to.

As much as I know myself, sometimes I feel like she and others know me better than I can. By being able to sit and talk candidly with someone in her position I somehow feel more complete. I can’t even explain what it is but when I think about it all I can do is smile.

When, if ever, do we let ourselves progress our relationships with people? Some people will hold the same position in your life from the time you are young until you are die while others will continue to grow with you. There are times where as much as you may want to be closer with someone, for whatever reason it just doesn’t happen. In the week before Fanchon came I was nervous about what our time together would be like. Looking back I now see that that worry was completely foolish. Now I’m just so excited to know that I have deepened a relationship with someone that I care about so much.

The V.C. is the Place To Be!

Road trips are one of my absolute favorite things to do when I am home in the summer. There really is nothing that comes close to driving across Montana looking up at the enormous blue sky and laughing in a car with your closest friends. In the past few years I have taken some minor excursions that seem like they will be easy and end up being an adventure that we never could have expected. The routine was not broken with my latest road trip to the small “town” of Virginia City (The VC), Montana.

I must first start by saying that I know I will be making Sascha (“Mountain Man”) Radetsky proud with my latest excursion. Last time he was in Montana he started talking about this mysterious place known as Virginia City. He had been in Montana for about ten minutes while I had been for ten years and I have never heard of it. I journeyed out yesterday with my friends Jenna (“Bugs Kitty”) and Michael to go see our friend Gillian perform in the “Brewery Follies” in the VC.

(One of about 50 pictures I took while stunned by the views as we drove.)

The minute we got in the car I was so tired I was deliriously giggling as we played random games that made me cry from laughing so hard. We collected scary stickers at gas stations and listened to Beyonce screaming her lungs out on the stereo. Along the way Jenna collected the new nickname (a mix between Bugs Bunny and a Cat, “Bugs Kitty”) and it was clear that this was going to be a road trip to remember.

(Just a little example of one of the store fronts in posh VC.)

With people you have grown up with but don’t always see all the time I find that there is always a little bit of fear as to whether things will be the same when you reconnect. I have been fortunate enough to have friends that every time I meet back up with them (some as little as once a year) it seems as if we have just seen each other the night before. So I was extremely excited to see Gillian and to do a little bit of exploring and partying in VC.

(Moments after the riveting reunion of G. To (Gillian Todd meets J.Lo) and I.)

(G. To does a little posing with the sign for her show. It's a wild cabaret show full of gay humor, cussing and sexual innuendo. Add beer (it's in a brewery) and the possibilities are endless.)

I don’t think I can begin to explain the size or scope of what Virginia City is. As one resident described it, it is basically “summer camp with alcohol” and I think that seems like a pretty adequate definition. The town is literally one main street a few blocks long with store fronts that look as if they are out of Disneyland’s “Frontier land”….except this is the real thing. People walk around in “Gone With the Wind” outfits and you hear horses trotting and spurs whizzing on the sidewalks. It’s like “Cheers” meets John Wayne, in the sense that everyone knows your name but you are more likely to find an authentic cowboy than a house that has a phone in it. In both places you have lots of drunks.

(One local who's outfit I just had to get a picture of. Following close behind her was a similar one except with feathers sticking out in all directions. I would have gotten a picture but I was too busy running to see if they had it in my size.)


Sometimes I think dancers can party and then I hang out with actors and realize that we have nothing on them. In VC the summer seems to be lived almost in some “Groundhog Day” type hangover. It’s a schedule that I would never be able to keep up but to be in the mountains of Montana for a night enjoying the beauty of the surroundings (everything except the 40 degree temperature at night) and the company I was with it was something I was eager to observe.

While I may never be a Mountain Man like Sascha wishes I was, I did do a little “rugged” outdoor star gazing at 4 in the morning. It looked like I was in some planetarium except there was nothing fake about it. The intensity that these stars shone with was enough to move people I was around me to tears. It seems like every day I wake up I am just more and more amazed at how gorgeous this state is.

(In the morning, checking to see if my shadow is as hung over as I am.)

(After lunch we walked around and toured the whole of the V.C.)

I am not ready to leave my friends here yet and this is the first time I have ever had the thought run through my head that this really has been the best summer of my life. With the building memoir that is my blog I have been more prone to taking pictures to document the events that I encounter. These are memories I never want to forget and I hope that I am not boring anyone to death who reads this.

(No comment. What?!)

To say the least, the night was a memorable one. It was full of confessions, fights, make-ups, nature, nicknames, cowboys, stars, surprising visitors and most importantly, old friends. A few people I was with were fighting the hangovers of their lives this morning but I don’t think there was ever a moment where anyone thought it wasn’t worth it. And just wait until you see the picture that is coming in my next post….it’s not to be missed.

(Kind of sums up the exhaustion we all felt. What happens in V.C. stays in V.C.....or comes to the blog.)

Could This Be The Answer We Have All Selfishly Waited For?

I think I might have psychic abilities! Okay, that statement is false. I just find it an odd coincidence that a mere 48 hours ago I was thinking about Jon Benet Ramsey for some unknown reason and thinking how sad it is that we will never know exactly what happened. Then I turn on my computer this morning and they have made an arrest.

Now it’s strange that any of us care this much about a single murder case because, let’s be honest, murder happens every day but in the media saturated world we live in some murders become more important than others. Between O.J and Jon Benet, in the past ten years America has become fascinated with some of the most confusing unsolved mysteries in history. With our inquisitive and greedy nature comes the need to find out the answers to these seemingly impossible crimes that have nothing to do with our own lives.

While the crime itself is a horrible and tragic thing part of me finds the burden of the crime almost more heartbreaking. With the O.J. case there were the families of both victims that had to deal with the fact that the man that almost every piece of evidence pointed to was found not guilty. In the Jon Benet case there was the fact that every piece of evidence seemed to point towards involvement of the Ramsey family in some sense.

This morning a man has admitted his guilt in the murder of the 6 year-old Jon Benet and in turn taken the glare off of the family for the first time. Although for me his use of the phrase “I was in love with her,” as a motive is just further proof that child beauty pageants most definitely deserve the glare they have gotten after her murder.

For ten years the world has looked onto the Ramsey family with at the least a suspicion of guilt if not accusations of murder. It all brings up the idea of how quickly a reputation can be tarnished. My heart is torn for this family who, if they indeed had no part in the murder (look at me STILL doubting their innocence), have never been able to move on from the death of their daughter. Everywhere they go their history follows them.

If someone has a vendetta for someone else all it takes is consistency and fortitude to make sure that person is brought down. Even with minor rumors things can be blown out of proportion in such a way that all of a sudden falsities are gospel truth. Before people are able to set things straight the rumor has snowballed out of control.

There will be people that forever believe that O.J. or the Ramsey’s are guilty no matter who steps forward. I have felt the pain of rumors but I cannot imagine the pain if those rumors were being followed by the media. Then again, I have never been involved in a murder case, but either way it is just heartbreaking to think about.

How does one even begin to recover from tragic events such as this? Can you salvage your life when the whole world is looking on? I find people in the company struggling to salvage their reputation when even just the whole of ABT gets a hold of some piece of rumor (or truth). It’s a vicious cycle and the only thing I can conclude from this is to boycott child beauty pageants…….

But can I still endorse the movie “Little Miss Sunshine?”

So You Think You Can Choose A Headshot?

Let me just begin by saying that staring at fifty pictures of yourself is not a fun task. When analyzing which way the tilt of your head looks better, everything kind of just blends into a giant mushy Matt face.

At home in Missoula this past week I did my first headshot photo shoot since I was coming into Studio Company. I have never considered myself the most photogenic person out there but when it comes to headshots I feel like my head might as well spontaneously combust. As the photographer says “relax your face” my lips tend to knot up more and my body tenses up like a Chinese finger trap which I can’t escape from. I am not the best at taking direction when it comes to controlling my facial muscles.

With every breath I attempted to relax but when you want to bring out a genuine smile, the last thing you can get is genuine reaction. “Just act natural,” but let me zoom in on every detail of your face. Easy as pie.

My family was trotting in and out of the room I was hoping that I would at least get one good shot out of the hundred or so we were taking. As Valerie Cherish would say “Well, I got it!” Or at least kind of. As I sit here looking at my face multiplying faster than the number of crappy Fox TV Shows ("So You Think You Can Dance," anyone?) I guess I am fairly happy with some of them. It is a little trippy though analyzing the way your eyes are focused, the way your hair is falling (not out thank god), and which one your eyebrows look better in. Every detail matters and they are all better than my lazy face on the ABT Website right now….don’t know what spell I was under that day.

So the real choice comes with this, do I want happy face, sassy face, lazy face or tense face? What do I want my headshot to say about me? It seems like a lot of effort to be thinking about all of this for just a picture but I am just happy I’m not a musical theater boy. All my theater friends have their different poses (young and hip, old and mature, whore-ish, boy next door….you get the picture) but I just need to find one. Good old Matt.

21.

The 21st birthday is an odd celebration. Thought of as a huge rite of passage by anyone under the age, it has unfortunately turned into a night of binge drinking and drunken insanity for many, many people. For the past 48 hours I, along with my best friends, have been busy celebrating the 21st birthday of my best friend since first grade Michael Lowney.

For me, Michael has always straddled that line of family and friend since the day we met. Having never had a brother, Michael and I found each other in first grade and immediately hit it off as he took the brotherly place in my life. For the past fourteen years he has been my artistic cohort and partner in crime throughout Montana, New York and his home of the moment, Michigan. So I felt a certain amount of excitement for him as August 13th approached but I was also worried that it was going to go a little bit overboard.

Well, it did. In the tradition of 21st birthdays, he took Missoula’s downtown bar scene by storm on Saturday night. Going out in Montana is kind of strange at any time. A huge array of characters were out on Saturday night as many people are in town for the Western Montana Fair (really, it’s a huge draw….ah, the allure of carnies) and it was, for lack of a better word, an experience. Hitting the macho straight bars of downtown didn’t exactly sound like the most exciting evening so as Michael went out with his brothers, I attended another party.

In a town this small though, all parties kind of blend into one if you have any mutual friends and before I knew it we were both at AmVets (the local gay bar despite the name) together. Friends in New York are constantly astounded that Missoula has ANY gay scene and maybe “scene” is stretching it a bit but it sure is interesting to observe. Over the past few nights I have mingled with some Montana Gays and I just felt a little out of place with Michael in Am Vets but it was a blast anyways.

Am Vets is originally intended to be an American Veterans bar but somehow was designated the gay bar by the patrons, much to the disappointment of the owner. Occasionally scattered beneath the disco ball and rainbow flags you will see some little old man in his war uniform wondering why the hell Janet Jackson is playing to the delight of the rest of the bar.

The point of it is though, for me, when I am with Michael and my friends here it doesn’t matter where we are it just matters that we are together. I had a few cheesy moments with my group here over the past two days where I just stopped and noted how life really would not be the same if I didn’t have each of them in it. There are some friends that you will always be friends with just because of history and while that is true with this group, it is so much more than that. I am always stunned by the fact that several of the people I have been friends with since first grade ended up being gay and the others and I have always maintained strikingly similar interests. Not only do we entertain each other but they all artistically inspire me too.

While we constantly reminisce about growing up together there is such a solid grounding in the present and a hunger to be around each other. Did we choose each other? Or did life just cosmically align all of our paths knowing that it would be a good combination? Hmm….that sounds a little heavy for me right now. I don’t know the answer to that, I just know that as we strolled around the deserted streets of Missoula last night at 3 a.m. on our way to Michael and I’s place of first meeting I was so elated.

We arrived at Paxson Grade School (where all of the pictures from last night are taken) and just had a joyous romp running around the playground. I think that every adult needs to get back and hop on a swing sometime and literally feel the same excitement you felt at recess for so long. Can’t we just have a giant playground for adults in the city? Talk about stress release.

Whenever I am in Montana I am reminded of how fortunate I am. Friendship can be such a fleeting thing but it can also be what grounds us and makes us who we are. I stress a lot about the relationships that I have in New York and navigating the difficult world of professional networking. Then I have a night like this with the people I care most about in the world and I realize that this, just this, is enough. The worries just melt away.

Need a Vacuum or some sky?

Apparently vacuums and sky are both things that Montana has to spare. Was driving around with my dad yesterday and saw this truck with all of the vacuums in it and thought it was picture worthy.

While I was driving around with my handy camera I thought I would take a few more pictures of the sky here. I know you all must be getting sick of the pictures by now but I find that it never ceases to amaze me. Its so expansive and after New York I feel like it just keeps reaching and reaching. Beautiful.

Rough Snow Queen 1st Solo.

Just got back from working at the studio and started playing around with my 1 AM Snow Choreography from last night. Not sure what I think about it yet. It's kind of an odd section of music and a very quick entrance (23 seconds I think) to have the Snow Queen start with, but we will see where it goes. To put it in context a little better, the flakes are all behind her filling the stage and the Snow King has just exited. This entrance happens quickly before the flurries start up again and Clara gets swept on stage. My arms are a little wild in the video. Oops.

Creepy? Totes. (Vol. 2.)

After my choreographic insomnia last night I was left a little energized so I started looking through all of my pictures on iPhoto. With the passing of Ms. Hayden I thought I would go back and revisit my NCSA days. It's amazing how much we change. When looking through the pictures of the trip I took up to NYC to audition for ABT I found this picture that I had taken in Toy's 'R Us in Times Square. Just read all of the type on the box and I mean, just the name of the doll is strange. Therefore I felt the need to add a second installment to the "Creepy? Totes." series. Enjoy!

The Fugitive Snow.

Well, it’s 1 Am here and I have officially had my first bout of restlessness due to this choreography. I find that I become inspired at the most random times and tonight I decided to take a hold of that randomness and film it. There I was watching “The Fugitive” on TBS when suddenly I thought “SNOW QUEEN” and just spewed out what I wanted her to do for her first solo.

I had been struggling with it in the studios all day and then at the end of the night it hit me. Earlier I was becoming too repetitious with my movement vocabulary and decided I needed to take a break before I just got angry at myself.

So far I have about three minutes solidly “sketched” out including parts for the corps, soloists, Queen, King and Clara. As I add in each part I find myself just falling back on things that I have already choreographed and recycling things but then tonight I think I was able to incorporate movement of the corps but make it a little more powerful, demanding and different for the Snow Queen. I want it to be cohesive but not identical movement happening throughout. Then again I have NO idea what level girl I am going to be setting this on, so I may have over-choreographed it. Oh well, it’s a start.

As it gets more and more complicated I have started using pennies in place of my corps and soloist girls in my notebook. It’s the best way I can visualize the movement formations though it’s nowhere near as good as seeing a person in front of you. With Abraham Lincoln on the paper, ABT corps in my head, and no one in front of me….I am slightly discombobulated. Just leave it to Harrison Ford to spark that clarity. Odd.

Where to begin?

It’s odd that in a recent post I talked about how I hadn’t had to deal with death in my adult life and suddenly that moment has come. This morning I picked up my phone and saw a missed call that immediately informed me of what had happened. Melissa Hayden, former principal dancer of NYCB and my teacher for three years at NCSA, passed away. I want to be able to find the words to begin to describe what she meant to all of us but it’s impossible. There are too many stories buzzing around in my brain that I will cherish forever.

It was something that we all knew was coming, as she had gotten progressively more and more ill this summer, but I think it was also something that no one was willing to accept. There is no way to really prepare for this. If you were to look up “hard headed” in the dictionary you would see a picture of Melissa. Since I was a teenager at school everyone had joked about the fact that she would outlive us all. It just seemed impossible that this incredible woman with more energy and determination than any of us could ever leave this earth.

I will never forget her walking into class and striking a sultry pose in the door-frame as she cooed “what’s new pussycat?” I will never forget her referring to my male friends and I as her “ballerino’s.” I will never forget the smell of her perfume or the way she could correct you without even watching (and usually be right). I’ll never forget her packing up her bag and leaving in the middle of class when I did two pirouette’s instead of three. While there were many “challenging” times sprinkled within the good, somehow I look back on the times I cried during her class and just smile. There was this intense sense of love even within her madness that was unlike anything I have ever seen. You always wanted to do your best for Ms. Hayden and getting a compliment from her came with a sense of elation that was unmatched by anything else.

I can’t even begin to fathom the idea of roaming the halls of NCSA without finding her face as I turn a corner. There is no question that the dance world will be dealing with a tremendous loss with her passing. Wherever she is though, I know she is still setting ballet’s better than anyone else and finding that loudspeaker to shout her incomparable words of wisdom. I’ll miss you Ms. Hayden.

IT'S MY 100th POST!

In celebration of my 100th post on "Ranting Details" I thought I would just put up a few pictures of beautiful Montana that I took today when having lunch with my friends. Also, I'll do the little plugging and urge people to spread the word and tell their friends or anyone they think would be interested in reading this (is anyone? hmmmm...) and thank everyone who does read it for their support. I have been having a blast working on the blog over the past couple of months and hope everyone is enjoying it too!

(Nothing like lunch time martini's in the summer!)

Travel Sky.

Just a pic I took out the plane window on my way to Montana that I liked.

Montana Sunsets.

The Big Sky is home to some of the most stunning sunsets you will ever see. The smoke is a factor in the one tonight, pictured above, but it's still beautiful. It was taken outside of Outback Steakhouse after a great dinner with some of my best friends. I am lucky enough to have had an incredible group of friends (one of them all the way from 1st grade on) and nothing makes me happier than being with them. They are JUST what I need after a rough day of choreographing (such as today.)

The Colony.

The idea of being home in Montana during August includes a few things that I expect to come in contact with. One is unfortunately the smell of smoke as the state struggles to fight the forest fires, another is reuniting with my best friends in the world and the last is having the chance to experience "The Colony."

Since I was about 8 years old Missoula has been host of an annual writers workshop known as "The Colony" which acts as a testing ground for new work for playwrights across the country. My father stared the program with Greg Johnson when I was a child and I have been fortunate enough to not only watch some incredible playwrights (such as Pulitzer Prize winner Marsha Norman) but perform in my only stage reading ever. When I was a child I got to participate in the reading of "Trudy Blue" written by Ms. Norman alongside Andie McDowell (who lived in Missoula for a while) and spout of such classic lines like "I want pop tarts." While my part may have been small, the experience of "The Colony" became something that I looked forward to each year.

As well as having the chance to see my father work and interact with his peers, I have so many memories of bouncing around with all of the New York actors that got to come and do the readings. As my dancing took me to different corners of the country, the chances for me to see the play readings grew less and less with each year, until suddenly it had been about five years since I had attended one. This all changed when I came back into town a few days ago.

As I have grown, so has "The Colony," which now presents the works of NYU and Julliard graduates. It also includes performances from stage and screen actors from New York and LA interspersed with the local talent. That has always been part of the appeal to me; the chance to see a work from a seasoned playwright such as Marsha Norman one night and then come back the next night and see a reading of a Montanan's first play. My father has given up his leadership of the workshop but his colleague that I grew up with, Greg Johnson, is keeping it going strong. One of the readings in particular this year was really stunning.

I have always been more of a musical theater fan than a straight play fan but after seeing this work by Jessica Goldberg (a pupil of Marsha Norman) I feel as if my eyes have opened. On Saturday night of last week she presented the first ever reading of her new play titled "Ward 57." The subject of this brilliant piece of work deals with a writer from LA doing research on different victims of the war in Iraq in Ward 57 in DC. Along the way she falls for one of the men she interacts with and they battle the circumstances of the world around them in an effort to decide their future. It is all complicated by secondary characters and of course the continuing war.

What was so brilliant about it to me was how human she made all of these characters and how well she developed all of them in a mere hour and ten minutes. The struggle for me when creating something is finding a way to say more with less and Goldberg accomplished this so well. When the show ended I literally gasped at the beauty of it. She left me wanting more and that was a feeling I had not felt from theater in a while. She was lucky to have some great performers in it, including her husband Hamish Linklater (from the sitcom "The Old Adventures of New Christine") but the real beauty of the show was in how it was written. She made it political without being preachy, emotional without being saccharine, and theatrical while still being human. Not an easy task.

I feel privileged to have attended the first ever reading of this show and can't wait to see what comes of it. Missoula isn't known for it's art world but every once in a while something like this will come along that opens up Montana to a whole new level of creation. I wish that more people would have been able to attend it but I am sure it will be workshopped more in the future and maybe even have another life at "The Colony." I was so happy to be able to see a part of my childhood brought back into my life, even if just for a night.

"Snow" In August.

(Disclaimer #1: The above video is VERY boring and the product of too much free time in Montana to play with iMovie and YouTube. The shoes are also the clunkiest. shoes. ever.)
So boredom has officially taken hold of me. It has been one day and I am already going a little crazy. I think that my body just kind of shuts off when I am on vacation and even though I am not doing much I feel about 10 times more fatigued than I do at the Met. Kind of strange, no? Missoula is a beautiful place, but seeing as the state is burning down at the moment (a common occurrence for August) being outside doesn't have the same beauty that it usually does. So today I decided to go have breakfast with my mother, do a little shopping (somehow Missoula has a handful of really great clothing stores) and then......cue the dramatic music....I went into the studio for the first time ever with a definite mission to choreograph.

Over the past year, and many times as a child, I have tested out the idea of choreographing and while it was always appealing it was always extremely frightening as well. When I was a child I had no inhibitions and as I matured I slowly started to become more and more cautious of what I was putting out there. When I work on something at ABT I am always worried that someone is going to be walking by and judging me and I find it so hard to find original ideas. I am happy to say that I am learning to let that go. Over the past few weeks I have seen some of my favorite dance pieces ever ("Telophaza" and "Artifact Suite") and found myself inspired by the use of the corps in each. Both are contemporary ballet (or slightly more modern based with "Telophaza") but each showed incredible and innovative ways of using the corps that could be applied to classical movement. As I sat in the audience for each I tried to just soak up the patterns and the ease of moving the corps around that both of these choreographers showed with their work. I find it so difficult to choreograph transitions without making them look like transitions and as I worked for a little over an hour today, I found that difficulty to be a hard thing to jump over.

For those of you who haven't read my blog recently, I have agreed to do the choreography to the "Snow" scene in my old school's production of "The Nutcracker". Even if you haven 't read my blog, I imagine you have heard of that ballet. That's part of my difficulty as well....the fact that EVERYONE seems to have done a version of Nut makes it seem an impossible task to not replicate versions I have seen before. So I am playing with creating a few motif's that I am going to incorporate throughout the scene to give it a slightly modern twist while retaining the classicism that Montana expects. I have about three weeks to get the majority of it done and there is a high possibility I won't be able to work with ANY dancers during that time. WISH ME LUCK. For a choreographer starting out, there is nothing more difficult or daunting than the idea of creating a corps work without the actual corps in front of you. The video above shows me "marking" the few things I threw out today and of course most of them will be done in various formations, canons, etc., with about ten more dancers. Needless to say, this video is probably going to look like a disaster to many of you. Disaster or not, it's a start.

I have talked a lot on here about here about how creation is something I fear but over the past few weeks I have come to the realization that I MUST get over this fear. Some of the friends I have hung out with since the end of Met season just seem to exude creativity with every breath and that has never been the case with me. I know it is in me, it just takes a little more work to get it out. So while Montana is burning, I will be in a studio creating visions of snow. I'll keep you updated.

(DISCLAIMER #2: This video was made for the purpose of helping me remember what I worked on today. Most of it isn't full out, most of it will be with at least 10 other people, and (hopefully) look much better being danced by GIRLS in pointe shoes....not me in those clunky jazz sneakers! Just had to throw it out there.)

Have you ever?

While shopping today with my mom I uttered a few words I save for special occasions "I want to go to Sports Authority." No I haven't gone straight upon my arrival in Montana, I just needed some new warm-up pants to wear when I step into the studio tomorrow to begin choreographing snow. As we moseyed around the store I turned a corner and WHAM! The most bootylicious mannequin that has ever existed. I mean have you ever seen a mannequin with this much muscle in general but more specifically that butt?! I took a few pictures and then went on my way only to return a few moments later and WHAM! A little girl molesting the mannequin. She was infatuated with rubbing her little hands all over the giant butt. Ah, Montana.

Welcome to Montana.

Just a few shots I gathered while roaming around town today. Not to put it in a bad light, because it's a beautiful place....just thought these were kind of funny/really scary.

"Truth"

I haven’t had very many romantic relationships in my life, but of the few I have had, I have been startled by the ending of each of them. Not for the fact that they have ended, because as much as we hate to admit it part of a relationship is the end, but more so by the fact of what happens after that dreaded ending. Now all of this not only applies to romance but to friendships as well and over the past year I have had a handful of both types of relationships come to an end. Some were more painful than others, but as I have had to learn over and over again, people change and there is nothing you can do about it.

How do we cope though? There is that moment when you think that things can’t go on, that this is it, the ending of all endings and as the weight crushes down on you, you must learn to rise like a faded pop star (Britney Spears anyone?) and try again; but how?

Well, it seems that everyone needs to bend the truth just a little bit. You may be asking yourself how this all came up as a blog topic (or maybe you don’t care but I’ll tell you anyways) and it was a conversation I had with a few friends the other night. They sat me down and asked me to explain in my own words what exactly had happened with some of my previous relationships. As I let the events unfold in my own words, spilling out like some “Sex and the City” episode, we all became quite aware how different each parties’ side of the story was. They were more acquainted with the other people’s stories than my own and in one case I was informed of a connection that apparently was much stronger than the one I felt.

Little white lies are part of life and never are they more apparent than when covering the tracks of some broken love. It hurts to admit that maybe you just weren’t compatible because as a society we are taught to place blame. Each side picks their target and sometimes it hits harder than expected. Friends stand by and let you vent as you justify the reason for the split through a series of "truths".

I have found this to be the most true with the ending of a few close friendships. In the city when your friendships start to deteriorate it almost unfolds like a divorce and your mutual friends are the children who’s love you are feverishly trying to obtain. At a certain point though when trying to persuade the remaining friends to take your side, the split couple ends up hurting each other. While at first it feels great to let out that pent up frustration, in the end a majority of it just isn’t true. Anger manifests itself through the ease of blame but it usually isn’t until the fire is burning up the whole forest that you realize you have to put it out. Little white lies do their damage too.

Instead of frantically back peddling there needs to be some preservation of truth throughout the whole process. We shouldn’t have to cover tracks but instead should just have a mutual respect for the people with whom we are separating. It all goes back to the idea that it isn’t anyone’s business but the people involved. But in the world of Us Weekly, even people we don’t know and never will’s business is ours. If we could all just have press releases maybe that would help things along.

Maintaining a sense of dignity is something that we believe we achieve by putting the spin on these types of situations so it puts everything (usually ourselves) in the best light, but shouldn’t it be the other way around? Isn’t dignity represented by always telling the truth, even if that truth is painful?

Slap me silly and call me Carrie Bradshaw, this “Sex and the City” marathon is getting to my blog.

Mmmmm.....Traveling is my favorite.

There is something about traveling that just brings out the worst in everyone. From the minute you set foot inside an airport it's as if everyone is a bounty hunter and the airport workers are the prey. Now I will admit (as my friends constantly tell me) that I am not ALWAYS the best at dealing with service workers (i.e. airport personnel) but compared to the people around me today I looked like the Pope. The day started with people around me rolling their eyes, shooting dirty looks and verbally assaulting the workers at Laguardia; I should have foreseen that this day of travel was going to be f-in ROUGH.

You see, I am writing this blog entry from a room in a Holiday Inn in Minneapolis that smells like my Grandfathers old house. Now as fond as that memory is to share with everyone, it's pretty much just smoke, more smoke and a dash of ashtray. Bottle it. Sell it. Sephora could make millions with "Po Dunk Hotel" the new perfume from J.Lo.

I am one of those people that would much rather travel alone than with people, so as you can imagine traveling with the company often results in living my worst nightmare. Now that I am having this day traveling alone and having to do all of my rearrangements myself I realize how spoiled I am to have the Company Mangers always doing all of that for me on tour. I did a great job at dealing with it though, if I do say so myself. Judging from the breakdowns happening at the re-booking desk I was probably one of the more sane people there. I know for sure that I was surviving better than the couple behind me with three kids under the age of 5 and no way to access their bags. You could practically see the blood vessels exploding in the mothers eyes. Understandable. There is something very lonely about a smelly hotel room in Minneapolis where the only view is a Perkins parking lot dumpster. I need my family!

So what is it about traveling that brings out the absolute worst in everyone? And why do people feel like they have the right to talk back to people behind the counter that had literally nothing to do with their faltering travel plans? Yet we all do it, the attitude comes out of the best of us in situations like this. Perhaps the airport is just an instant magnification of everyone's worst qualities, the ones that we bury deep down until those special travel days. Or berating people behind a counter that are not allowed to talk back is a cowards way to take out aggression, so we all do it.

Whatever the answer is, I know that I cannot wait to get to spend just a FEW more hours in an airport. While I was going to have a super blog adventure and go to the Mall of America tomorrow (when I was supposed to have to be here until 9 pm) I am going to have to pass cause I actually get to go home in the morning. So as tantalizing as Lego Land sounded, I will just have to settle with some Fear Factor as the Cheerleaders pow-wow outside of my hotel room door. I'm in lifetime limbo right now, stuck between my two homes (which one is the real home now?! More on that later) but now it's time for some the only Subway that Minneapolis has to offer; a sandwich. Thought you all might like to see the beautiful art hanging above my head at this time. Cherish it.

Brilliant.

Music videos recently have become all about boring sexy outfits and the occasional flicker of some fun choreography, but this one for me takes the cake. OK GO are the perfect example of a band using the internet to garner new fans and play around in ways that MTV just won't let you. I have watched a couple of their "homemade" music videos before, but the creativity of the treadmills in this one is just great. Oddly enough I was on the elliptical yesterday thinking how someone should do some weird choreography using workout machines....then I go to YouTube and look what is front page. Damn someone stole my idea! And its all in one take. I just love it.

[title of show]

Isn't it invigorating when you meet people who's love for their work is literally exploding out of them? Where with every breath they take, whether a sigh of exhaustion or a preparation for their next move, is filled with such passion that you just want to bottle some of that energy to save for youself. That is how I felt last night when watching the touching new musical playing at the Vineyard Theater, [title of show].

This is a show written by two men (Hunter Bell on the left in picture and Jeff Bowen on the right) who when looking for an idea for a musical to submit to the NY Musical Theater Festival decided to write a musical about writing a musical. It's trippy in the way that the film "Adaptation" confuses you but touching in a way that only musical theater can be. It's a true underdog success story, as these two guys are finding themselves the Cinderella story of the summer as their show consistently sells out. The show itself begins and instantly gets the audience laughing but I worried at first that the musical theater references and "wink wink" mentality of it would grow old quickly. I was completely wrong though because these two men have put so much heart and every ounce of themselves into this project that by then end you are moved to a place you never expected to go.

At its root it is about struggling artists and the desire to "make it," but at what cost? For so long when you are sitting in your apartment you find yourself dreaming of your success as an adult and the praise that you will receive for all of your artistic effort. The trouble is that between your dreaming and the actuality of it, there are hundreds of hurdles to conquer and endless amounts of people both in your way and helping you get to the end product. With a full investment in anything, whether financial, artistic or emotional comes the chance that you will lose yourself or the vision of who you wanted to be. I know for myself it always seems easier to stand and dream than to actually do, because there is no pain in dreaming, but there is pain in taking the plunge.

These two men have taken those ideas and translated them into this very personal piece of theater. Michael Beresse (one of my personal favorite Broadway dancers) has staged it beautifully and the performers themselves are so present and attached to it that you root for them every step of the way. I hope that this show manages to find a life in the difficult world of musical theater. Like I said before, there are so many other factors than just having a good product. I, for one, would love to see it stay off-Broadway where I think it really belongs. I don't think that bigger (Broadway) is always better and I wouldn't want to see this show disappear just because it couldn't financially uphold a Broadway run.

After the show, the friends I was with and I got the chance to chat with the cast a little bit. You know when you meet people that you just wish you were friends with? Well that was last night for all of us. We stood around talking for about thirty minutes and they were probably the most humble, caring performers I had ever had the chance to talk to. It's always good to see that there are people out there doing what they love and REALLY loving it. Trying to navigate the world is hard enough, but trying to navigate the arts world is even harder.

So if you have a minute in the next month, you should run down and grab a ticket for this show. You might even catch a little celebrity sighting like we did. Joan Rivers, anyone?! Fancy face. And even without the celebrities you will get to see performers loving what they do and what could be better than that?

One last thing....check out the [title of show] blog! It's hilarious and I even get a tiny shout out in it today. Fun times.
[TOS] BLOG!

Angry Hurts My Throat.

The best gift you could EVER give has FINALLY arrived. Yes, that's right, Lisa Kudrow's brilliant and completely underrated show "The Comeback" has come out on DVD this week. Below is a clip of her character Valerie Cherish recording the song "I Will Survive" to be used as the theme song for her show.

HBO has always had great television which really makes all network TV pale in comparison but to me "The Comeback" is one of their greatest shows ever. If you want to see a performance that is so multi-faceted that it never gets old with repeated viewings, but instead just strengthens your opinion of the show, look no further than Lisa Kudrow's Valerie Cherish. I was a "Friends" fan like everyone else but grew tired of the show towards the end of its run (also like everyone else?) and I think I always doubted the talent of Lisa Kudrow. Phoebe was so one-note and while "Romy and Michelle's" is one of my favorite movies I always thought that maybe Kudrow's comedy was a little boring. Then I turned on the TV for the premiere of "The Comeback" last summer and was hooked immediately. Why is it that some of the best things never catch on in the pop-culture universe. Paris Hilton has gotten three seasons (at least) of "The Simple Life" and HBO won't even give people the chance to Cherish "Cherish".

I have heard people complain that watching this show makes them feel "uncomfortable" but to me that is just a testament to how good it is. Kudrow makes you feel all of the emotions that her character is going through every step of the way. So here is your chance to show them (those evil TV Network Execs) just how wrong they were to cancel this show. Go out and at least rent it and see for yourself why Kudrow should walk away with the Emmy in September.

Creepy? Totes.

Unless you have been under a rock for the past couple of years you have probably been attacked by a "Kidz Bop" commercial on TV at some point. Now, anything that spells "s" words with "z's" is automatically on my shit-list but there is something so uber-creepy about this line of CD's I had to check it out.

In my avoidance of anything out of my apartment today, I have been searching iTunes looking for fun new music to buy. Well in the "Recommended for You" section they had "KidZ Bop 10" at the top of the list. Now, I don't know what CD's they think I have been buying, but I guarantee that none of them fall into this genre of music. I don't even know what genre that is, but being the eager buyer that I am I decided to give these thirty second clips a little listening to just for fun. Well you look at the song list on this new one and automatically are kind of confused. Wait....kids, pardon me, kidZ singing such songs as "You're Beautiful," "Because of You," and "Be Without You"......what?! The song clips are usually an adult karaoke superstar singing the majority with the kids chanting in the back like some pack of brainwashed pack of animals. Maybe since they are kidZ and not just normal kids they are mature enough to be singing about broken hearts, domestic violence and longing for lovers? That "Z" must hold some special power. Wish I could have been part of these kidZ when I was merely just a kid. Hmmm....something about this is just too creepy to me. Give it a listen and let me know what you think.

Modern "Awakening"

It's always refreshing to see something that feels completely new, yet it happens so rarely. Last night, however, I got that chance when I snagged a ticket to attend the new musical playing at the Atlantic Theater called "Spring Awakening." A rock musical based on a German play from the 1890's, "Spring Awakening" explores the burgeoning sexuality of teenagers and the repercussions that that "awakening" has on both them and their parents. Not exactly your average musical but one that already is drawing comparisons to that little musical called "Rent," although in actuality I believe that to be too flattering a comparison.

Not to say that this isn't a great show because most everything about it is. From the cast to the music to the production values, everything felt so "downtown" fresh but with the extra polish that only a Broadway director, like Michael Mayer, can add to the festivities.

Like "The Light In The Piazza," this is one of the first shows I have seen in a long time where the director has REALLY used the space in an exciting way. The Atlantic Theater is a converted Church in Chelsea so as you might imagine it's not exactly your average boxy theater. He has the incredibly talented young cast running and jumping and climbing the walls as the rock music explodes, pushing up the top of the steeple that houses it. Speaking of the music, it was both one of my favorite and one of the more frustrating things about the production for me. The idea of colliding the world of 1890's Germany with pop/rock music of today helps to liberate the passions of the confused teenagers and modernize the material in a way it couldn't be had the music been typical musical theater. The problems comes though with the fact that on a first viewing I didn't really "get" all of the music. Lyrically it can take the approach of rock music and be slightly broad with the emotions, yet still beautiful. The majority of the songs are not narrative but instead explore the different emotions that come along with the ideas of puberty. Sounds like "Carrie" the musical all over again huh? Well there are no telekinetic powers in this show but still some strange mother/daughter interaction.

Speaking of the Mother, last night was a particularly interesting show due to the fact that someone was coming into the show with literally one rehearsal. That someone was Kate Burton, three time Tony Nominee and film actress, who did the entire show on book. I am always amazed when watching Theater at how great the understudies are and yet she wasn't even an understudy! She was brought in yesterday, had one rehearsal, and then did the show. She was so quick when looking down at her script that you rarely noticed it and the whole cast pulled up to help her get through it. You could see the excitement/relief as they all took their bows.

As the bowing continued I couldn't help but wish I could go back and just watch the whole show one more time. On first viewing only a few songs really stood out ("The Bitch of Living", the incredible song "Left Behind" sung by Melchior) but the performances were so uniformly great it made me want to press rewind. Even with the bizarre interpretive dance, the performers completely threw themselves into it making it almost bearable. If I had to give just a few gems of advice it would be to get rid of the dancing (or at least change it a bit) and to either make the choice to use the "rock" mics or not. The constant back and forth as they pulled the microphones out of their costumes was both abrhasive and just strange.

I would love to have a chance to read the 1891 play to see how true the musical is to it. Between this and the Dada exhibit recently I find it so hard to fathom the idea that these things that are so old could still feel so modern. Of course the sexual awakening that this material tackles has been the same throughout time but the frankness with which it discusses it is startling even today.

Overall a great show and will hopefully find a life beyond Off-Broadway when it transfers later this year. Try to catch it if you can!