"Truth"

I haven’t had very many romantic relationships in my life, but of the few I have had, I have been startled by the ending of each of them. Not for the fact that they have ended, because as much as we hate to admit it part of a relationship is the end, but more so by the fact of what happens after that dreaded ending. Now all of this not only applies to romance but to friendships as well and over the past year I have had a handful of both types of relationships come to an end. Some were more painful than others, but as I have had to learn over and over again, people change and there is nothing you can do about it.

How do we cope though? There is that moment when you think that things can’t go on, that this is it, the ending of all endings and as the weight crushes down on you, you must learn to rise like a faded pop star (Britney Spears anyone?) and try again; but how?

Well, it seems that everyone needs to bend the truth just a little bit. You may be asking yourself how this all came up as a blog topic (or maybe you don’t care but I’ll tell you anyways) and it was a conversation I had with a few friends the other night. They sat me down and asked me to explain in my own words what exactly had happened with some of my previous relationships. As I let the events unfold in my own words, spilling out like some “Sex and the City” episode, we all became quite aware how different each parties’ side of the story was. They were more acquainted with the other people’s stories than my own and in one case I was informed of a connection that apparently was much stronger than the one I felt.

Little white lies are part of life and never are they more apparent than when covering the tracks of some broken love. It hurts to admit that maybe you just weren’t compatible because as a society we are taught to place blame. Each side picks their target and sometimes it hits harder than expected. Friends stand by and let you vent as you justify the reason for the split through a series of "truths".

I have found this to be the most true with the ending of a few close friendships. In the city when your friendships start to deteriorate it almost unfolds like a divorce and your mutual friends are the children who’s love you are feverishly trying to obtain. At a certain point though when trying to persuade the remaining friends to take your side, the split couple ends up hurting each other. While at first it feels great to let out that pent up frustration, in the end a majority of it just isn’t true. Anger manifests itself through the ease of blame but it usually isn’t until the fire is burning up the whole forest that you realize you have to put it out. Little white lies do their damage too.

Instead of frantically back peddling there needs to be some preservation of truth throughout the whole process. We shouldn’t have to cover tracks but instead should just have a mutual respect for the people with whom we are separating. It all goes back to the idea that it isn’t anyone’s business but the people involved. But in the world of Us Weekly, even people we don’t know and never will’s business is ours. If we could all just have press releases maybe that would help things along.

Maintaining a sense of dignity is something that we believe we achieve by putting the spin on these types of situations so it puts everything (usually ourselves) in the best light, but shouldn’t it be the other way around? Isn’t dignity represented by always telling the truth, even if that truth is painful?

Slap me silly and call me Carrie Bradshaw, this “Sex and the City” marathon is getting to my blog.