Lazy Post of the Day.

So as my summer boredom barrels on I thought I would do another lazy video post. YouTube can provide endless hours of entertainment and it's a little scary how much material you can find on there. From obscure performance clips to homemade videos, it's all there. Today I woke up and found an email in my inbox for this clip which I had first seen about a year ago.

A true testament to the process of editing, both of these previews are pretty impressive. By using something as simple as music they are able to completely change the representation of the movie. Like political spinning, and any PR, it's really just about the editing. Being someone that is drawn to the overlooked art of making a good preview, I find these especially entertaining. The next one isn't quite as good as the "Shining" one but with source material like "West Side Story," how could I pass it up!?

Trashy Good Fun.

Well I don't know how many of you reading this watch "So You Think You Can Dance," the fabulously trashy dance competition on Fox, but its pretty damn entertaining. For my lazy post of the day I thought I would share a little action from the show the other night. It's a mambo routine that has some crazy competition faces going on in it but there is no denying that it's some impressive stuff. I always have fun looking around ABT and trying to figure out who could ever survive a competition like this with the constant shifting of styles every week. To a ballet dancer sometimes the dancing doesn't look quite as technical as I am used to seeing but it's always nice to see dance getting some mainstream recognition.

Meeting a New "Sylvia".

Last night I, along with a few friends, went to the New York State Theater to see San Francisco Ballet do "Sylvia". I went into the night with a lot of excitement at the possibility of seeing a new version of a ballet that we had done the past two seasons at ABT. Unfortunately I left a little disappointed. Not by the entire thing because I definitely found things to enjoy in it but I think I have just kind of realized that "Syliva" is a difficult ballet to make work.

The opportunity to compare and contrast both versions was something I was really looking forward to and as the music to the (extremely long) overture started, all of the ABT dancers I was with started having some MAJOR deja vu. It was only about a month ago that we were behind the curtain getting ready to stun the audience with our blue make-up and glitter crowns. So you can imagine my bewilderment when the curtain opened and there was a) no fog! and b) No blue make-up?! AHH!! Mark Morris has completely redone "Sylvia".

The saving grace for me with this ballet has always been the music. It fits the (zany) story really well and there is so much power in it, especially sections like the hunt in act one and some of act three. Somehow in this version though I thought there were some gorgeously musical sections and also some completely bare moments. Morris has a tendency to do canons in his choreography and some of them were used beautifully in this ballet. However sometimes the action on stage was just a little too mellow for my taste. The same problems exist in this version as in the ABT version; there seems to be little dramatic tension or power that really keeps the audience alive.

I think I either just wanted it to be a completely zany, trippy, different take on the ballet or just the same version, and what the audience got was something a little in-between. It was really great to see another big company performing other than City Ballet or ABT because I don't think I've ever really had the chance since I can remember. New York has always been where I see all of my dance and this Lincoln Center Festival provides some amazing chances to see what else the world has to offer. I am really looking forward to going back and seeing the rep program this week because after seeing the dancers last night I think they will really dance the shit out of it on Saturday.

Since I have been in ABT I have had very few opportunities to visit with old friends from NCSA and even fewer chances to see them dance, so last night was very special in that sense. It is great being on the other end of things for once and being a cheerleader for people you grew up with. My old roommate from NCSA, Garen Scribner, was dancing a featured part in the third act and looked fabulous. It is so nice to see people that you know being so successful all over the world; it's a little mind-boggling. All of these thoughts seem a little scatter-brained today but maybe I'll have a little more to say after the show on Saturday night! Until then...

Conversions.

Well "The Winger," a fellow blog in case you have been living under a rock, has a good thing coming to it. David Hallberg has finally gotten a Mac! After a little prying and convincing (for about a year) David finally got the courage to journey to the Mac Side yesterday afternoon and take the plunge...purchashing his first real computer. Now, now, now, don't get all upset if you have a PC.....I was just raised on Mac so in a way its like a religion or political view (I kind of just followed my parents guidance but know it was the right choice all along) and I have eagerly been converting people ever since I was able to. Mission accomplished! This picture was taken in the Mac store on one of the beautiful new MacBook's. Congrats David....you are a man.

After a little afternoon shopping we went up to Central Park to enjoy a true New York experience, listening to a concert in Central Park that we didn't pay for. There aren't many places where you can just decide at the last minute to go and listen to Damien Rice and Fiona Apple play but that's the glory of being in the Big Apple. As we walked into the park there was a flood of people journeying over to the East Side to park it on the extremely uncomfortable woodchip field outside of SummerStage. Unfortunately we arrived at the very end of Damien Rice's set (which David had come for) but from what we heard he sounded great. Then we had about an hour to people watch and let me just say that this was the prime location for the crazies to come out.

First there was the man walking around making a killing selling beer from a bag and frantically glancing over his shoulder as he made each transaction. There was the aroma of weed coming from all angles as people just lit up right in the park....hmmm slightly risky I would think! Then there were the New York families that had a baby strapped on the front of the dad, a young child and a dog perched on a blanket with their frisbee's and their newspaper. And last but certainly not least there was Wrench Woman.

Had I not been totally afraid I was going to get beaten with the wrench I would have taken a picture because lord knows I was dying to. It started innocently enough (or so I thought, apparently David saw her verbally attack someone who wouldn't give her a cigarette) but it quickly escalated into one of the most hilarious/frightening disruptions I have ever encountered. As Fiona Apple took the stage and shrieked and groaned her way through a set of underwhelming performances, Wrench Woman set up shop beside a giant tree. First she started shouting "You all don't know the pain! We'll see who has the last laugh! Fucking great, fucking great! I'm the messiah, I'm gonna crucify ya" and other fun slogans like that. I was convinced that she must be attempting to do some cult-ish resurrection or conversion so I was all ears. David and I would be mid conversation and then she would start and we would immediately turn our attention to see what fun words of wisdom she would spew next.

Well after the words came the wrench. She pulled it out of her bag and just kept hitting it against her hand menacingly gazing around, for a victim maybe?! Occasionally she would point it at someone and say something like "you'll be sorry you stupid arrogant American assholes" or something equally as sweet and then would hit it on the tree behind her head. If only Fiona could have been as entertaining! Inevitably the cops came and asked her to leave to which she preached a few parting words about the end of the world and such. Thankfully my friend Caitlin arrived in time to see a few moments of the show outside the show.

So we lingered around for the remainder of the lackluster screeching from Fiona and I introduced friends to each other which is always good feeling. There is always that nervousness when you first cross groups of friends where you question if they will like each other. My friend Jess has this theory that friendship is transitive meaning if I am so close to two individual people then chances are they will be close as well. Most of the time I find that to be true, but not always. Fortunately we ended up having a good time before journeying back to the Mac Store on 5th avenue.

Mac is working overtime (literally 24/7/365) to get this new store off the ground. Its really incredible looking from outside as you can see, and the spiral staircase and elevator inside are pretty amazing. But then again, I don't need a conversion....I've been a die hard for a while now. Hmmm....maybe my next Mac Convert should have been Wrench Lady! Damn, missed that opportunity.

Great Video (Lazy Post of the Day)

Just wanted to post something today, but nothing too deep (is it ever?), so I am going to put up this GREAT Regina Spektor video. My friend AKB discovered this last night on YouTube and it's pretty cool. Besides being insanely talented (and my summer music obsession) she has made a music video that isn't the typical pop crap. Hooray for someone doing something artistic. LOVE Regina Spektor. Watch it if you have four minutes, its worth it.

Wha' Happened?! Vol. 2

In an ongoing addition to my site that began with an exploration about the transformation of Britney Spears….here is the next in the series “Wha’ Happened?!”

While searching through my cluttered desk the other day I came upon this interesting find. I think this had to have been in maybe 1996?! It was one of my first ballet performances and I was a bug catcher in "Flying Fireworks," a ballet about the local carousel. Pictured with me is one of my best friends from childhood, Erica, with whom I did my first pas and later ended up at NCSA with. I think that shirt is probably bigger than anything in my current wardrobe...I was so cool with by bowl cut and glasses.

Underneath it on my desk was this picture of me doing "Cinderella" this year taken by Gene Schiavone. Standing to my right is one of my best friends Jackie. I don't even know if I could fathom the idea of ABT at the age I was at in the first picture yet somehow I think I probably acted just about the same at 10 as I do now. Wha Happened?! Ah, memories! Frightening at times but usually put a smile on your face. Why am I putting this blackmail out here?!

Rambling Ranting.

I never read “Men’s Health” magazine. Maybe the fact that I eat a completely unhealthy diet, only enjoy reading fitness articles to see who has good bodies yet never apply the teachings to myself, and have no need to read about finding the female erogenous zones limits the magazines appeal to me. Yet there I was sitting backstage a week or so ago and found myself stuck in a room where the only choice of magazines was a “Playboy” and “Men’s Health,” both obviously things I subscribe to. So I picked it up and started flipping through only to find that ten minutes later I had tears building in my eyes and shivers all over my body.

Now before you start laughing too much let me explain a little. Amidst the articles about weight loss and sex tips there was an incredibly touching tribute written by Craig Ferguson (host of “The Late Late Show”) to his recently departed father. Along with touching anecdotes about his time spent with his father he discussed what it means to deal with loss and the different stages of life. Ferguson himself has a son that is almost five and it was extremely important to him that his son got to spend time with his father. Three generations in one room, and me reading it backstage at the Met as if it were my life story, crying in the men’s lounge. There was something so relatable and intimate about the way he paints the meeting between his father and his son in a hospital in Scotland as the torch is passed from one man to the next. He makes himself so vulnerable in the writing of this article, I only wish I was able to lay my thoughts on the page as candidly.

One of the most beautiful things in the world to me is the idea being able to share your family with each other as it grows. I know personally I will always be sad that I never got to meet my mother’s mother, or spend a little more time with my father’s parents. I can only hope that one day when I have children they will be able to experience what I never got to.

In the corner of this article there was a box that laid out the “5 Moments That Define A Man,” and something about it made me incredibly sad. Of course there are milestones that the majority of people will go through that could be said to define them, but when one of those events is legally denied to me, how am I supposed to handle that? Will I ever be able to share Ferguson’s type of experiences with my family?

Number one on his list is “Choosing to Marry,” obviously a major step in anyone’s life, but as a gay man it is something that in our current constitutional crisis is denied to me. We all want the same things, the same joys, and people there to share our pain but sometimes I just get so depressed by the state of our world. If these are the five steps that define a man then what does that make me if I can’t legally do one of them.

Now I am not foolish enough to think that this list is definitive or that just because the country doesn’t recognize my love for a man that makes it any less real. Yet it still reflects the mindset of a large majority of this country, and possibly even people that are reading this right now.

Number Three on this list is “Receiving Your First Real Defeat,” and it talks about things that cut “really deep” such as divorces or job loss. Yet as I read this it again prompted the idea that in a way I had already been defeated out of pure denial of who I am as a person. This is such a scary thought to me and as the tears built up I realized just how scared I was of all of this list and for varying reasons.

“Becoming a Father” is number two and is something that I look forward to and yet another thing that by being a gay man adds difficulty to an already difficult milestone. Tying into the article number four is “becoming an orphan” and realizing that after your parents’ death there is nothing to fall back on anymore. You truly stand on your own. Having never dealt with death as an adult it honestly isn’t something that I think about very often but I think everyone carries around this unspoken fear of the unknown at all times.

Sprawled at the end of this list is the vague idea that “you don’t know everything” which probably scares me more than anything. Of course this fear comes with a sprinkle of excitement in anticipation of what is to come, good or bad. As my eyes scanned the last sentences of the article I couldn’t help but be bombarded by the words “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know,” over and over and over again. I don’t know how I will handle these events, I don’t know how to handle the fact that I am denied some of these “rites of passage,” and I don’t know how to handle the state of things right now. Bringing up Yahoo every day and finding headlines declaring that gay rights are being denied left and right, state after state, I don’t know what there is that I can do to help. I don’t even know if I believe that everyone together can make a change. Sometimes I just feel so disheartened.

Yet somehow we all keep going, through the unknown and through that fear, finding our way past the headlines and the guidance of “Men’s Health” articles.

Songs YOU need to download. 7/24/06

Just another entry in my ongoing attempt to force people to listen to music! Some of these on this list are really incredible songs though, so if you can't afford to buy them....find a way to download them!

"I'm On Fire"-Bruce Springsteen
This song was used in Ohad Naharin's eclectic piece "Telophaza" which I saw over the weekend. It rolls along just like the "freight train running through the middle of my head" that he talks about during the song. It's my new obsession, just wish that I could watch the incredible choreography that accompanied this music. It was another example of someone using pop music to create dance I never could have dreamt of.

"Mushaboom"-Feist
This song just makes me happy, its as simple as that. Her voice just floats and it feels very summer-y.

"Springfield, or Bobby Got a Shadfly Caught in His Hair"-Sufjan Stevens
It seems that none of my lists are complete without a song of Sufjan's. I just got tickets to see him this fall in NYC and I could not be more excited. This song is off of his new CD of outtakes called "The Avalanche" and the way he paints a story is so unique.

"This is That New Song"- Badly Drawn Boy
My friend Caitlin made me a playlist that has this song on it. I have so much music on my ipod that I don't even know about so I love to have other people look through and make a playlist because they always choose music I haven't discovered. It really tells me so much about a person and Caitlin has some incredible taste in music.

"Deja Vu"-Beyonce
Okay, I had to throw one bombastic pop diva song in there. The song is great, the video is awful but it's still entertaining to see Beyonce hump all over Jay Z while he seems completely indifferent. Good work Beyonce.

Hazard: Weekend Warnings.

You might find yourself looking at the picture above and thinking "What the hell is going on?" and that would probably be a common reaction. To answer the question that your brain is posing; my friends and I decided today while in Duane Reade that it would be fun to buy this creepy looking face masks that cost $1.99 and promised to "revitalize, refresh and excite!" your face in a mere five minutes. Well, a little warning to everyone out there....don't ever buy one of these masks. After having some fun taking pictures and enjoying what I thought was a normal tingling sensation we removed the masks to find that it had burned my face! The tingling was actually my skin searing off and I had huge circles left under my eyes of pastey-whiteness where the mask hadn't covered. Fortunately the discoloration has evened a little bit as the night went on but my face still feels burnt. Put this on the list of things to never do.

Oh and one more warning coming from the land of grossness via Montana correspondence. My dad apparently came home from fishing yesterday with a huge leech sucking his blood on his leg. Unbeknownst to him he had this "plum sized" creature sucking his blood the whole drive home. Pretty thought isn't it? So my weekend warning is this: Listen to your body because if it feels like something is burning you or sucking your blood, chances are you are right and should fix it ASAP. Ah, words of wisdom I know.

Joyful Movement.

I am officially obsessed with Ohad Naharin. Throughout my life I haven’t ever really seen a series of work by any one choreographer and been completely blown away (excluding Balanchine and Robbins of course) but after seeing two works by this brilliant man I would go to Israel just to see his work.

Last night I dragged a couple of non-dancer friends to go to Lincoln Center to see the Batsheva Dance Company perform “Telophaza,” a full-length work of the highest caliber. Sitting in my seat at the State Theater I found myself remembering the same feeling of elation when I watched Nacho Duato’s company five years ago. Something about European modern dance is becoming so special to me and I never would have expected it.

“Telophaza” is a stunning piece using a seemingly endless amount of dancers to represent the power of unity and individuality at the same time. Naharin is most effective with his movement when he gets all of his dancers going together and the majority of the evening was spent in unison. The amount of power and excitement that can be accomplished by really strong, musical, innovative unison dancing is unparalleled in my opinion.

There were movements of this ballet where the wings were like clown cars with the slats set up showing no place for the dancers to enter and exit from yet a constant flow was miraculously appearing form the wings. At the back of the stage hung four large screens that were used to incredible effect mostly of live feeds of the dancers faces. As the majority of the company danced on the bare stage there would be four large, peering faces gazing out into the audience as the dancers interrogated themselves in the lenses. This focus on such zoomed in sections of the body seemed to pit the idea of separate and united thought and movement against each other. The viewing of the parts of the whole was hypnotic and played with the ideas I had talked about in an earlier post of Naharin’s love of the coexisting of different movement patterns. Fast and slow, smooth and rigid, confined and open; it was all demonstrated by watching both the screens and the dancers on stage at the same time.

There are so many parts of this piece I would love to be able to watch again but having it replay in my memory is incredible as well. My friends ended up loving the evening (which was a relief to me after having so much pressure put on the fact that the piece could have possibly been horrible) and we worked ourselves into a sort of frenzy re-enacting parts of it later in the night.

After seeing both this piece and “Minus 16” I am so happy to know that whenever I feel like I have lost the joy of movement I can just remember these two experiences. This, to me, is what dance is all about and it’s a shame that we don’t have the chance to see work like this more often.

Improv Improvement.

Part of what is so great about coming from a family of performers is the fact that I have constant opportunities to experience other realms of the art world. My sister is a gorgeous modern and tap dancer, my mother is tap dancer and my father is an actor so you might say that it just runs in the family. Along with being constantly supportive of my endeavors, they all challenge me to go and do other things to feed my "artistic soul". In the past twenty-four hours I have started what I am now nicknaming the "Dance Extravaganza," where I have seen and taken on some great and challenging dance experiences.

Last night I went to see my sister perform in a program called "Tap City," which she has appeared in for the past two years. As far as I am concerned there is no greater experience than seeing a sibling performing and growing before your eyes. Not to be the typical congratulatory family member but I can honestly say that my sister was basically just better than all of them. She has such a natural ease and glow on stage and from the minute she caught my eye (I was in the third row) during the opening number I got a sense of what she so instinctively possesses; magnetic charm. On top of that she has pretty flawless technique, which adds up to a pretty killer combo. I just wish that I got to see her dance more often.

The rest of the program was okay at some parts and great at others; a little uneven but still enjoyable. As well as having some great dancers, the three-piece band was awesome. It's so interesting in a form of dance like tap where, unlike ballet, improv is not only welcome but demanded at times. Tap shows sometimes turn into a type of dance-off not only between the dancers but between the band and dancers as well. You can see the energy rushing between the dancer and the band as they push each other into more and more of a frenzy. Imagine me standing on stage at the Met and getting the orchestra to follow my every move....don't know how well that would go. Point being, for someone like me, I can't even fathom improv at times it really just blows my mind.

So what did I to today? Subject myself to an hour and half Master Class from Ohad Naharin where we did nothing but improv. It was probably best that at the time of signing up I had no idea what I was in for because had Naharin not walked in and locked the door behind him (not kidding) I might have been tempted to run out due to my own insecurity. I decided to take this class after seeing what immediately rose to the top of my "best ever" list of dance, his piece "Minus 16." The piece was a reminder of the joy of movement, and that is what his class attempted to recreate and teach.

The mirrors in the room we were in had been completely covered so we couldn't stare at ourselves but instead needed to feel the movement. He has some incredible useful ideas that can be used in not only his technique but ballet as well. The idea that dance is an expansive, joyous activity sometimes gets lost in classical ballet with all of its structure and placement. By allowing the dancers to "create curves" with any and all parts of our bodies, play with space, and "let the bones sink out" of our skin I discovered movement I didn't know I was capable of. Perhaps my favorite thing he said today was the advice to "never have just one thought" when doing anything. Make it a full body experience where you aren't just thinking "lift my leg" but instead are aware of how everything is existing at the same time, not just some extraneous limb. He also had some incredible things to say about the phrasing of musculature and musicality. We played a lot with having both "floaty" and "thick" movement coexisting where one hand would be in the tightest fist you could make while the other flowed as freely as lava. I wish that I could just sit and listen to him speak about what he thinks dance should be, because even just this hour and a half I was able to find so much, even through my level of discomfort.

Which brings me to my next point. Are ballet dancers the least outgoing people compared to other dancers and actors? As I have been hanging out with some great musical theater friends from U of Mich I am amazed at some of the similarities and differences in our temperaments. Does the freedom that comes along with your art of choice influence how you act socially as well?

(Out with my "outgoing" friends the other night)

I looked around the room at the tap show last night and during class today and thought about how improv requires such an extreme amount of vulnerability and fearlessness. Ballet dancers are never asked to improv or even really ever "asked" to choreograph although some obviously choose to. Between playing some games with these musical theater folk and witnessing these other dancers I can't help but see how shy we seem in comparison. Maybe not shy but rather uptight. Maybe its the buns and dance belts that are sucking our sanity away! I say that as if modern dancers don't wear dance belts....

Continuing on my "Dance Extravaganza" there will be another "Tap City" show tonight and a performance by Ohad Naharin's company tomorrow night at State Theater. All of this adds up to.....MORE BLOGGAGE! Ugh and I still have so much "normal" stuff I want to blog about. More to come.

(Random picture while coming home during the pouring rain from class)

How Lucky Am I?

The other night I got the chance to go see my friends Benj Pasek and Justin Paul make their Ars Nova debut which was spectacular. I will post more on it later but just thought some of you might want to check out this really really really incredible video of the really really really incredible Shoshanna Bean singing the even more incredible song "Ready to Be Loved". The song was written by these two awe-inspiring, soon to be, college seniors who I am fortunate enough to have the chance to know. The quality is poor but I mean it's pretty lucky that it's on YouTube in the first place.

Slow to learn.

Today amidst the heat and insanity going on in NYC I dragged my tired feet over to IFC to catch a showing of "Gabrielle" a new French movie that just opened there. Let me just preface this by saying that I think the last foreign movie I saw in the theater may possibly have been Amelie; I just don't usually feel an urge to escape to a movie in another language. I was just looking around online this morning and saw a few pictures and reviews of this movie and decided it was going to be my solo afternoon excursion.

The movie was really beautiful and for more reasons than just the cinematic beauty it displayed. Americans would never make a film like this because its almost too "still" of a story for American audiences. While the story is something we have seen before, the unraveling of a marriage, the way it is presented is completely different. The whole film is almost all scenes between Isabelle Huppert and Pascal Greggory as they painfully come to the realizations that they are in a loveless marriage. The script was almost poetic in its phrasing and having the subtitles along with the picture presented two distinct views of the action. It was a battle between their body language as actors and the words they were given. I have this obsession with watching people's eyes when they are on stage or screen and Isabelle Huppert has some of the most amazing ones I have ever seen. She cries with such resigned torment buried inside of her that her calm demeanor is only interrupted by the soft tears spilling over onto her cheeks. It's an interesting story because basically nothing happens yet I was transfixed. It was cinematic while also feeling extremely real and the fact that they didn't bury the story in a difficult busy plot was what was most un-American about it. It was more just a psychological unraveling of a ten-year relationship than a huge melodrama.

It makes a couple of interesting comments about passivity and what its effect can be on our lives. Had the wife just spoken up about her unhappiness years before instead of existing like some statue within her own house, she would have been liberated and actually been able to exist. She has this incredible scene in her bathroom where she breaks down in front of her maid and the pain that she digests as she realizes that she was just slow to learn her own feelings is heartbreaking. As much as we may try to ignore the voices in our head they will get out at some point and it's better to listen when they are whispering than to wait until they are screaming.

Late Night Diner Trips.

Okay, so let's get one thing straight; I DO NOT HANDLE THE HEAT WELL. That became painfully obvious yesterday as I stomped around Soho with David and slowly started melting into a huge puddle. What started as a day of shopping and catching up quickly turned into a race to find the next store with industrial air conditioning (I highly recommend Crate and Barrel on Houston with its freezer-like temperature) and I looked through the products with a heat glaze over my face. So while I should be out enjoying this weather, the 100 degree temperature is prompting me to just sit in my cool apartment and write a little bit, as well as watch horrible shows on "E!" and play the new Sufjan Stevens CD over and over again. Ah! Summer has officially arrived.

With that arrival comes the fact that I have NO idea what to do with myself. Friends of mine are slowly making their exits from the city and my "End of Met" coma seems to be lifting a bit today but as the veil comes off the world I am seeing is one of sensory overload! Days start whenever I want them to and can be navigated in any variety of ways. I am living a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. I look through the papers and find an endless assortment of things I could go and see, but where to start! I think the beginning is going to be a French Film playing at IFC called "Gabrielle" which I stumbled upon this morning as I woke in a haze from the events last night.

It was just one of those nights (similar to my "Spontaneous Debauchery" episode a few months back) where my best friends and I gathered at my apartment and it just took off from there. We played Charades and acted like idiots which felt GREAT. I hadn't laughed that hard for as long as I can remember (at least not during Met) and now I don't have to go to the gym because my abs already got a work out! I realized that the fun of being off can really just be summed up by late night diner trips with a group of people you love. The pictures are the proof.

The Final Tale of the Season.

Well, it has be become a sort of blog tradition to do a little storybook using some shots from backstage and here is the final one of the season.

"The Tale of Turmoil and Confusion"

One day all of the lowly commoners were relaxing on the town steps when suddenly....

They looked over and saw a whore caressing a meat hook nearby. "Whore!" they yelled.

"Whore?!" she asked. Correcting them she said "Harlot, darling, harlot." Obviously scared out of her mind by the whore's clown makeup, Adrienne tries to escape but Bystrova just won't let her. Will they ever find harmony between the groups?!

Meanwhile nearby a Capulet asks to defy his blood relatives and go and rescue the common folk to the woman in the "Mars Attacks" headdress.

Sensing aliens must be near, the people expectantly look to the sky for the "Cinderella" UFO pumpkin.

There are no aliens though, just Tybalt and his sword coming to save the town from the whores....I mean harlots.

Screaming like she just saw the ghost of Elvis, Adrienne yells "Is that Tybalt from Center Stage?!" and passes out.

Soon she jolts back to life and grabs one of the whore's, I mean harlot's, henchmen. "Get me a date with Tybalt or we'll slice him" they exclaim.

Finally sensing that they are all united under a common love, the whores and the commoners make up once they realize that they all love Tybalt from "Center Stage".

What started as a day of turmoil and confusion was suddenly a joyous occasion. This common bond they found made them realize there is no such thing as whores and commoners. There are simply people; people who love Tybalt from "Center Stage".

Romeo Portraits.

To begin the first of a couple of blogs devoted to the end of "Romeo and Juliet" and the Met season I wanted to share a couple of portraits I took of people yesterday. Fatigue had officially set in (I say that as if it hadn't before yesterday) but people still showed the camera some love and here are my favorite pictures of the day.

(Bystrova's fingers shimmer in anticipation of the grand finale)

Usually the final day of Met includes excitement as we dance our final steps of the season knowing that we have had a successful 8 week run. Last night was one of the most somber ends I have witnessed (of the three) because it is the first time we are having a lot of people leave the company. I think most of us don't realize how much of a family we are until a person announces they're leaving. Also their leaving doesn't really become reality until the curtain is about to go up on their final act with the company.

(Flavio prepares to do his final sword fights)

Total we have about ten people leaving this year and more than half of those are from the corps. As I rode home in my taxi last night I was hit by the fact that things will be very different. Now maybe I was more emotional because I had put on a certain playlist that is all emotional music for the soundtrack of my life, but I think it had just really hit me. One of the boys from my dressing room row is departing and as minor as that sounds, it seems like a huge change for us. Since I have been in the company I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by the best of company on my row which is really important. We are always there for each other and our sense of humors just mesh. Even through our differences we have had more good times than bad and next year will not be the same without one of our members.

(Benvolio, aka Jared, guzzles some water between acts)

It was a moment of reflection for a lot of people in the company, soaking in the fact that even the most minor of people you come into contact with really do affect your life and who you are. I will miss the small inside jokes I have with people, or even the awkwardness I have with others because that is part of what I know and who I am.

(Kristi puts the meat-hook to new use)

So I tried to spend the day documenting what it is like to be in the company at this very moment with these specific people because nothing will EVER be the same once the moment is gone. I got as many pictures as I could because while you can never really relive the moments you experience, it never hurts to have a reminder of the ones that have passed. Can Kodak endorse that?!

(Roman shows us his Lord Capulet dramatics)

(Arron readies himself for battle)

(Alex, having already battled in act one, shows his "Scar" from Lion King scar)

(Hidalgo takes a minute to reflect on the stairs)

(Sascha gives the camera some final Tybaltian intensity as the season closes)

Reviewing Reviews.

I have gotten fairly sick of dance reviews that aren't really reviews but simply recounts of what happened on stage any given day. To me a dance review should consist of not only critiquing the dancers’ execution but the choreography they are dancing as well. With a season such as ours where six different women may go on in a single part any given week it seems like it is ideal for comparing and contrasting their different takes on the roles. This doesn't seem to happen too much though and while I understand that any art is subjective there comes a point where a reviewer has to take an objective point of view and dig deeper in an effort to understand what is going on on stage. This is precisely what I have discovered over the past week reading Joan Acocella's incredible reviews in The New Yorker.

I find that the more I write the more I am looking through every single newspaper, book and magazine I read for examples of really beautiful writing. “The New Yorker” is a magazine with brilliant writing on every page that is both insightful and relevant. On top of having articles about current events, art, science and fiction in every issue, the reviews of movies and theater are outstanding. In the last two consecutive issues Joan Acocella has offered her season reviews of NYCB and ABT. Whether or not I agreed with everything that she said is irrelevant because the way she said it was so articulate and knowledgeable. You know when reading one of her reviews that she has done her research.

Obviously I have witnessed everything she talks about in the ABT roundup but I was struck by how I felt like I had witnessed City Ballet’s season just by the way she described it. Instead of merely saying, “the boys around the stage partnered her” she says “Three men partner her, but they are not men; they are just the arms that support her quest, and block it.” It is so refreshing to hear an artistic description of art.

Art invites discussion but it cannot be judged in black and white parameters like a sport so reviews cannot be written like they are doing a play-by-play analysis. The reviews of Acocella’s were so well written they prompted ideas in my head of things I want to write about, not a usual outcome of reading a review.

I think the success comes in her unusual approach to reviewing dance. She doesn’t write about it as if she is documenting it, instead she seems to be investigating it. With the ABT review she attempts to paint a portrait of an artist (Diana Vishneva) as a way to not only get to know the artist better but also the role (Giselle) that she is creating. She realizes that dance, like life, isn’t always about right or wrong seen in black and white but it is something that must be analyzed to find the depth beneath the surface.

Sedaris and Colbert Tumblesize.

I was watching one of my (well I think one of everyone's) favorite shows "The Colbert Report" the other night and Amy Sedaris, comic chameleon extraordinaire, was on as a guest. Colbert's show is great for many reasons one of which is the fact that it is completely unpredictable. He will go off on some of the funniest political rants I have ever heard and while it is in many ways a comedy show I know that a majority of young adults get their news this way. Between this show and "The Daily Show" I manage to catch more political events on Comedy Central than on CNN. The show is always random but this clip has to be one of the most random things I have ever seen on any late night talk show. The three performers starred in the flop sitcom "Strangers With Candy" and I don't know what they were on when they came up with this idea but it's great. Enjoy!

"Fable"

I am just bumming around this morning and got an email from a friend alerting me to the fact that some of "The Light in the Piazza" is on YouTube. So I thought I would check it out and share a little bit. This clip is the final number in the show and besides being one of the most beautiful orchestral pieces I have heard at the theater, Victoria Clark's performance is legendary. Now for those that don't like musical theater that read this blog, my guess is you will hate because it's not a "Defying Gravity" and out of context it might not make the most sense. But for those of you who do, enjoy it! The last moments are so beautiful.

I love the lyrics in this song especially the use of the title in the sense that "love's a fable." My favorite lyrics would have to be

Love's a fake.
Love's a fable.
Just a painting
On a ceiling
Just a children's fairy tale.
Still you have to look,
and look,
For the eyes on the bridge in the pouring rain.
Not the eyes but the part you can't explain
For the arms you could fall into forever.
For the joy that you thought you 'd never know
For here at last away you go
To a man who looks for you.

I wish I could articulate a feeling as clearly as that!

Romeo....Romeo.....

We are exactly halfway through our final week of performances and "Romeo and Juliet" in all of its dramatic romance is taking over our lives. It's an interesting ballet because there really isn't much for the corps to do in the typical sense yet we contribute so much to the overall effect of the evening. We set the tone from the beginning marketplace scene and it carries through the roller coaster ride that is the ballet. Watching this ballet every night for me is kind of a confusing experience because as much as I admire it there aren't many "staples" that people flock to the wings for. There are few variations and the pas de deux aren't typical ballet show-stoppers which presents a stretch for not only the principal dancers but the soloists and corps as well. I find that viewing it as a theater piece and not a ballet is more fulfilling and I recently purchased the play to read again and do a little comparison.

(Simone plays a Harlot and does a little pre-act seducing of Daniel)

Like most people my age I think my attention was first REALLY brought to the source material with Baz Lurhman's 1996 film version and before that with "West Side Story". These two pieces are prime examples of reinterpreting material to present it to a different audience with modern film and musical theater respectively. I believe the most difficult of all to be the process of reinterpreting it into a ballet. To take Shakespeare's detailed and richly poetic verse and translate that poetry into a purely physical communication is an amazingly difficult task. Of course Prokofiev has provided one of the most dramatic and in my opinion perfect ballet scores to accompany the choreography. Hearing the music of the ballroom every night followed by the famous balcony scene is worth the price of admission. It is interesting not only watching the different layers of choreography but, as a fellow dancer Julio Bragado-Young pointed out, to pinpoint single instruments in the orchestra providing different aspects of the emotion. I think that it is definitely a ballet that requires repeated viewings because while it may seem like it moves slowly on first viewing, the more you watch it the more you get from it.

(I'm a happy Capulet with Blaine as we are viewed through the dirtiest lense ever)

It's not only with watching it that you get more from it, I have found that I am finally getting a grip on my sword fights from doing them repeatedly. I find a bit of segregation between the gay guys and the straight guys when it comes to the sword fights. Not to generalize too much but speaking for myself I know it has been a bit of a struggle channeling that macho sword toting Capulet within. While some boys (usually the straight ones) are jumping off set pieces and reveling in all the gory detail of it I settle for an occasional shove to show my aggression to the enemy. Maybe I'll get to that set-jumping ecstasy one day but for now I'll settle for a little gentle push here and there. GRRR!

(Stella the Harlot corners me backstage. What is she going to do to me?!)

The "Light" Is Out.

As Met is winding down I have recently had to accept the ending not only our season but also of a neighboring production. Housed at the Vivian Beaumont Theater “The Light in the Piazza” is one of the most incredible theater events I have ever seen in my lifetime. I realize that is a very heavy statement but it is one that I can say with certainty.

Every morning as I stroll into the tunnel that holds both of our stage doors I get to look to my left and see this (pictured above) array of shots from this breathtaking show. Just about every single aspect of this show was stunning from the sets and costumes to the entire original cast. Most of all though was the incredible book and score that were pushing musical theater forward into a realm I had never seen before. Part opera, part musical theater the score stands out as one of the most complex and stunning pieces I have ever had the chance to hear live. I saw this show not just once but twice (as well as on TV when it aired on Great Performances last month) and each time it grew into something I never could have imagined it being the time before. As a study of an actor there has been no one better for me than the Tony Award winning Victoria Clark. She does more with silence than I have ever seen anyone do with 1000 words. You can describe emotion as much as you want but until you as a performer FEEL the emotion the audience just will not get connect. Viewing the show again on TV even closer than in the theater enhances the idea that Victoria Clark has control of every minute detail of her face. Every single body part down to her eyelashes knows exactly how to be in the moment day after day after day.

Being in a ballet company I notice a vast difference in the acting skills not only in between ranks but within the ranks. I always get the sense that we all feel a little silly sometimes but when I watched “Piazza” I was amazed at how I felt like I had been transported to 1950’s Italy. When watching the chorus members walk or bike around the stage everyone has such a sense of purpose that as an audience member I felt like I was watching the most intimate conversations at all times. It’s a level I can only hope to reach in my performing career.

I tried (and failed most times) to get every person I knew to go and see this show but knowing that it is gone now I feel so sad that I will never get to see it again. I urge anyone who has a passion for musical theater or opera for that matter to buy the cast recording as soon as possible. There really is nothing like it.

Design For All.

For me, down time is one of the hardest times of the year yet also a time of year that I crave. As the dancers backstage begin to count down the number of shows left (although lets face it we start crossing them off the calendar once the season starts) I am left with this vacancy in my head all of a sudden. When I am used to waking up and standing at the barre at 11 am every day how does that void get filled but still nurtured in my two months off?!

It is always a struggle knowing the difference between enough rest and too much rest when you are forced to come back in top shape in the fall. As much as anyone wants to joke by saying they need the two months completely off, in reality a dancer notices a big difference after a week off. So how am I going to strike the balance between dedication and relaxation over the break? When you are used to being so dedicated to an art form, a sport, or just life in general it is shocking to your system to suddenly have the routine changed. I find that dancers get bored extremely easily the minute they have a chance to breathe. However great the feeling will be waking up on Sunday morning with no scheduled plans in sight there will be an equally great feeling of confusion and absence. Co-workers that you have seen every day for the past 5 months will vanish for months as freedom sets in. The city is like a door that has suddenly been unlocked but I don’t know where to turn! But what to do with that freedom?

As I was cleaning up my apartment today I found a piece of paper, an ad for a Target Razor Blade, with some writing scribbled on it. A piece of paper I thought was long lost was suddenly a reminder of goals I had set for myself on March 15th of this year (the date was on the paper….my brain’s not that good!). This piece of paper was titled “The Razor Plan” which is obviously the most creative name possible. It was an idea presented by my friend and I to each other about cutting (or shaving) the excess materials out of our lives in an effort to clear the path for artistic and personal growth. While the idea of this plan was instigated and is something I reflect about at various times it hasn’t really become a way of life yet and before the Met finishes I need to have a “Razor Plan” pow-wow to plant some new ideas in my head. Being 20 sometimes equals an unproductiveness plague and I am attempting to thwart that immediately, one razor at a time.

Choreographic Conundrum.

Recently I received an email from my first ballet teacher that proposed an interesting possibility. She was emailing to see if not only was I interested in coming back to dance this year for Nutcracker but if I would be at all interested in choreographing parts of it. Now when I first read this fireflies starting racing in my head at the idea of really getting to dive into some choreography over the summer. But like a firefly it wasn't an idea that was constantly illuminated. The first thing that hit me was the reality of it. I no longer would have the chance to say I was thinking about working on choreography; I would be choreographing for something I KNEW was going to be on stage. In all reality I know that Montana would be a good testing ground for something like this because the risk factor is relatively low but the scariest thing would be not fulfilling my own expectations. It doesn't matter if it's in New York or Montana; my expectations would be the same.

With a ballet such as the Nutcracker which was been choreographed by everyone and their mother I have no desire to just contribute another mediocre version. I would want it to pop and surprise in ways that other versions hadn't. Now of course that is what every choreographer would want and what so few accomplish. It prompted the idea to me though of how to get over the hurdle of knowing a ballet too well. How do I reinvent something that I have literally seen hundreds of times?

Familiarity is something that proves to be frustrating with a ballet such as the Nutcracker. The audience comes in expecting the ballet equivalent of comfort food. There is ALWAYS comfort in the familiar and that is why the steps that instantly run through my head are time tested patterns that I have not only seen but performed. As my father was saying in his blog, one of the ways he approaches a new work is to shatter it into a million pieces before reconstructing it. Easier said than done. Even if I try to shatter my minds vision of the Nutcracker the shattered pieces look like a puzzle I know the image too. I am stuck in this sort of limbo where I cannot decide yes or no. Having a deadline is what I really need but is the familiarity of this ballet going to help or hinder me when I am trudging through the muddy creation in the studio? How will I handle corps work? I have trouble enough seeing the formations I am trying to create on stage let alone set patterns of my own choreography!

The only Nutcracker that really stands out in my head as being truly original is Mark Morris' "The Hard Nut". It is so hyper-musical and funny, poignant and innovative while still feeling like the comfort food the audience expects. On this same page I am really interested to see San Francisco Ballet come and perform his production of "Sylvia" in a few weeks. Having just finished this relatively unknown ballet I hope seeing a fresh take on it will help ignite my own sense of creative interpretation. I admire choreographers like Morris and Tharp so much because of the way they merge the known with the unknown. Tharp finds incredibly innovative ways to use pop music with her own completely unique movement style. For anyone to accomplish the feat of really great choreography to Beach Boys, Bob Dylan or Billy Joel astounds me. I dream of choreographing to Sufjan Stevens but being able to transcend the lyrics while also making the lyrics come alive through movement is so difficult.

I need to find a way to turn off my database of Nutcracker knowledge if I am going to agree to take this job. I need to stop being afraid. Transcending fear of the unknown is my hurdle.

Wha' Happened?!

After having this emailed me today it prompted me to think of the great line from "A Mighty Wind", wha' happened?! Here are a few pictures I thought were kind of funny. Only a few short years ago.....

(Looking skanky as a 19 year old on the cover of Rolling Stone)
(And now.....looking....ummm, pregnant to put it kindly. Enough said. Wha happened!?)

A Few Final "Sylvia" Pics.

So in the year since we debuted "Sylvia" I think I have probably taken about 100 pictures of various people in this makeup. Part of what is so strange about it is that we take about 40 minutes to get all glammed up and then we are on stage for literally the first five minutes of the ballet. Kind of odd planning on the designer's part but we all find the makeup to be pretty enjoyable so its not too bad. It's very Cirque Du Soleil. We get to cake our hair in hairspray and glitter which takes a hideous amount of time to get out. Just thought I would put up a few pictures of this before its too far in the past!

(The gorgeous Melissa Thomas glowing in the dark as she prepares for hunt while the ice packs illuminate the foreground.)

(A few drag touch ups.)