Choreographic Conundrum.

Recently I received an email from my first ballet teacher that proposed an interesting possibility. She was emailing to see if not only was I interested in coming back to dance this year for Nutcracker but if I would be at all interested in choreographing parts of it. Now when I first read this fireflies starting racing in my head at the idea of really getting to dive into some choreography over the summer. But like a firefly it wasn't an idea that was constantly illuminated. The first thing that hit me was the reality of it. I no longer would have the chance to say I was thinking about working on choreography; I would be choreographing for something I KNEW was going to be on stage. In all reality I know that Montana would be a good testing ground for something like this because the risk factor is relatively low but the scariest thing would be not fulfilling my own expectations. It doesn't matter if it's in New York or Montana; my expectations would be the same.

With a ballet such as the Nutcracker which was been choreographed by everyone and their mother I have no desire to just contribute another mediocre version. I would want it to pop and surprise in ways that other versions hadn't. Now of course that is what every choreographer would want and what so few accomplish. It prompted the idea to me though of how to get over the hurdle of knowing a ballet too well. How do I reinvent something that I have literally seen hundreds of times?

Familiarity is something that proves to be frustrating with a ballet such as the Nutcracker. The audience comes in expecting the ballet equivalent of comfort food. There is ALWAYS comfort in the familiar and that is why the steps that instantly run through my head are time tested patterns that I have not only seen but performed. As my father was saying in his blog, one of the ways he approaches a new work is to shatter it into a million pieces before reconstructing it. Easier said than done. Even if I try to shatter my minds vision of the Nutcracker the shattered pieces look like a puzzle I know the image too. I am stuck in this sort of limbo where I cannot decide yes or no. Having a deadline is what I really need but is the familiarity of this ballet going to help or hinder me when I am trudging through the muddy creation in the studio? How will I handle corps work? I have trouble enough seeing the formations I am trying to create on stage let alone set patterns of my own choreography!

The only Nutcracker that really stands out in my head as being truly original is Mark Morris' "The Hard Nut". It is so hyper-musical and funny, poignant and innovative while still feeling like the comfort food the audience expects. On this same page I am really interested to see San Francisco Ballet come and perform his production of "Sylvia" in a few weeks. Having just finished this relatively unknown ballet I hope seeing a fresh take on it will help ignite my own sense of creative interpretation. I admire choreographers like Morris and Tharp so much because of the way they merge the known with the unknown. Tharp finds incredibly innovative ways to use pop music with her own completely unique movement style. For anyone to accomplish the feat of really great choreography to Beach Boys, Bob Dylan or Billy Joel astounds me. I dream of choreographing to Sufjan Stevens but being able to transcend the lyrics while also making the lyrics come alive through movement is so difficult.

I need to find a way to turn off my database of Nutcracker knowledge if I am going to agree to take this job. I need to stop being afraid. Transcending fear of the unknown is my hurdle.