Pants Off "Dance Off!"

I just got home from the final performance of my choreographic debut and I am exhausted and exhilarated. After performing I never seem to be able to sleep so naturally I decided to walk in, pour some OJ, blast some Sufjan Stevens, sit down and BLOG. It feels like it has been forever and so much has happened!

The past two days have been a whirlwind of excitement as I debuted my piece “Two Thirds Quartet” at “Dance Off” last night. I walked into the space and knew that I was in for a whole different ball game after playing houses like the Met and City Center. Not only was the stage smaller, but I was suddenly going to be VULNERABLE. I would be able to see each and every face gazing back and me and my creation; something that is impossible at the Met. There is also something exciting about being in a space like P.S. 122 because the audience really feeds you energy. We didn’t just get energy from the audience though, our fellow performers ended up being one of the best parts of the last 48 hours.

Blaine and I had a blast hanging out in the communal dressing room with the dancers from Streb and my friend Brian Gerke who all helped keep the mood light during my stressful moments. It felt great being part of something completely foreign to me and needless to say, a bit scary at times. Creation is a frightening thing because it doesn’t only bring excitement and enthusiasm from yourself and others, it also brings disappointment and dissatisfaction from yourself and others. The more I watch my piece (which seeing as I am in it, has been only on video) the more it kind of becomes a blur. I am so excited to have begun my journey into the world of choreography but with that comes the self- doubt of wondering if this is really something I am cut out for. It’s a new world that I am opening myself up to, one that is notoriously full of mixed opinions but one that I think I have thick enough skin to handle.

(The crew comes out to support our third show.)

Regardless of where it goes, it was just plain fun, which in the end is what it should be about. Having danced with Blaine since I was 14, it always feels great to be out on stage with him and I cannot thank him enough for his incredible generosity in donating his time and energy to my project. At the show tonight, which this video is from, all of my friends and family from ABT, school and elsewhere were there to support. As they cheered for us at the end I kind of couldn’t believe that I had actually done it. Regardless of how good or bad the piece was, I have to take a moment to say that I am proud of myself….as the song “Chicago” comes on I just feel happy (and like I have been run over by a truck) sitting here. Thank you to EVERYONE for the support that you have shown me recently, I cannot say that enough.

Now it’s on to the next piece of choreography (something SLOWER THIS TIME!) and reworking and expanding this. But first, Ladies and Gentlemen, the “rough draft” of “Two Thirds Quartet.”