Random Musings....

You know you are exhausted when the subway stairs look like Mt. Everest. I am lucky enough to not have to ride the subway to work, therefore limiting my subway time usually to the weekends. Today though, in between rehearsals, I ran to get my haircut and had no idea sitting in a chair could be so exhausting! Usually a therapeutic time for me, I could barely form words today when talking to my amazing stylist Lisa at Dop Dop! I was just hoping she wouldn’t have to mop up my drool along with my shorn hair. Luckily I stayed awake but as I am sitting here typing this I just want to doze off.
That could only mean one thing….

WORK IS IN FULL SWING! I am constantly amazed and depressed at how quickly stamina flushes down the toilet. At peak form nearly two months ago, I hear everyone at work grumbling over the aches and pains that accompany the frenzied climb back to top form. Where does it go? The other day in the studio (where the above picture was taken) I was talking to David and Gillian about how little of the human brain we actually use. We tried to imagine a world where we used 70% of our brains and maybe that would be a place where mental stamina would trump physical fatigue. For not only am I feeling muscles that I forgot existed, but my brain seems to be close to forgetting my own name.

Of course the past three weeks have been especially insane for me, attempting to squeeze rehearsals for my choreographic debut in between ABT rehearsals. I’m a juggler with no coordination. The good news is that the piece is nearly done. The bad news is that so are my body and brain.

(Lara sets the mood for typical behavior on a break between rehearsals.)

My source of inspiration recently has been an incredible biography on Willem De Kooning but words are almost too much to handle after a long day of work. I look forward to having some time to sit down and focus on it soon, but is free time soon even a possibility?! Every artist needs inspiration but are we supposed to be able to squeeze that in too?

Part of what I love about City Center season is the chance to see so many different types of works going on at once. Attempting to choreograph is both blessed and cursed by this. It seems like all my ideas stem from what I was just rehearsing until I push past that and let my own ideas flow out. Back to that world with 70% brain use, maybe our ideas really would be endless. I have fallen victim to the belief that “everything has been done before.” While that’s not a true statement, it can be a disheartening thought.

So as I sit here whining about my predicament I want to apologize if the blog seems a little neglected recently. “After a long day at work (“The Comeback” Fans can complete that)” lifting my arms to type gets trumped by lifting the remote. More to come soon, I promise!